Wednesday, March 31, 2004
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10:27 a.m.
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Four Prank Ideas for April 1st courtesy of Uncle John's...
• Paste a small Post-it note under someone’s computer mouse, covering the track ball and making the mouse inoperable. Remember to write “April Fools!” on the note.
• Some computer keyboards have removable keys. Find one that does and mix up the letters. (Be careful not to permanently damage it, or you’ll be the fool.)
• Smear honey on your victim’s car door handle, or if at school, on their locker handle. If you’re really bold, smear some on the toilet seat.
• Two words: Oreos, toothpaste.
Personally, I'm a fan of pranks large and small. I should try and come up with one for the comic site but that's a lot of effort and I'm feeling more and more lazy despite the extra load of work I have these days. It's a vicious cycle, I know, but at least it keeps me off the streets.
I encourage you all to come up with other prank ideas and share them with the world. They can be mean, cruel, heartless or evil... it's completely up to you.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
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11:46 a.m.
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The past week (or nearly so as I look at my ignored blog) has been filled with work. Different kinds, different pressures, but work all the same. First there's always the Sun (covered a parade, eBay, that sort of stuff) and then there's the work that keeps me up at night.
When I get really stressed and bogged down with a lot to do, including the lay out of Convergence, my mind goes into overdrive whenever I'm not working. Each night I write stories, lay out the magazine and think about all the things I have to do the next day. All of this I do in the dark, my head on my pillow, and my girlfriend sound asleep beside me.
This is not good.
Still, what else can I do? Soon enough the pressures will all be gone and I'll be sitting here lamenting the fact that I have nothing to do. I'm still waiting on a definite answer from EYE and my job searching has been less than stellar as each free moment I have I covet for a bit of relaxation. Even then my mind works.
So I'm trying to give my body a bit of a break as well. I finally started going to karate again to this little dojo just down the street. The guy there is great, his classes are friendly and overall things are finally moving the way I want. And if it seems like I'm complaining about all the work I have to do that's only part of it... I'm complaining because I like feeling important, driven and focused. My complaint isn't that there's work to do, but that there's only so much left before the dreaded 'real world' scenario kicks in for the last and final time.
I'm not worried, mind you. Jobs are easy to come by if you know where to look and can put in the time. It's just that right now I don't have the time or inclination to do these necessary steps. I suppose it doesn't help that, monetarily at least, I can cover myself through the summer.
Besides, things have a way of working themselves out.
So I've been told.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
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5:08 p.m.
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It's true. Bizarre, but true. You learn a lot of things from online page-a-day calendars and instead of doing work I'm reading a calendar. I should get an award for avoidance.
Speaking of which, I did pick up an award from the Columbia Scholastic Press for an article I wrote about a boy I knew who committed suicide. On the one hand I'm flattered to have won, but on the other hand it constantly brings up negative emotions. I wrote the article to purge a demon or two of my own as well as feelings of guilt that Aaron tells me I shouldn't feel, but at the same time it's never easy to lose someone before their time, and especially someone so young.
The rest of my day was consumed with not panicking. This may seem easy to do but I assure you it isn't. Since the revelation that I'd be the sole art director on Convergence and trying to get in touch with EYE over the offered internship (and I haven't heard back so I'm going to call first thing tomorrow... this is just too good an opportunity to pass up), I've been having serious butterfly issues. I got the folios, fonts and templates all picked out and set up (and it looks better than it should). I'm always amazed at some of the layout work I do and some of the writing I do because I always think it should be long, drawn out and painful before you get the results you need. Then I realize that sometimes you just get lucky.
So far so good.
Tonight I'll do a bit of editing and I promised Pushee a game or two of StarCraft. I also just need to relax. Not necessarily a vacation kind of relaxing since I haven't done any work in a week, but just something to calm myself.
I wish I liked alcohol.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
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1:49 p.m.
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The last two times I entered my living room... late last night and this morning when I got up... the phone started making it's 'off-the-hook' noise. Just out of the blue for no reason.
Does anyone else find this odd?
So, in addition to Bain jobbing out (but at least Pushee has stepped in to help me with the art chores, thank you SO much), my life has been made slightly more awkward by the offer of a full-time internship at EYE here in Toronto.
This is not a bad thing as I really wanted to work for them, and a full-time internship is much more likely to lead to full-time work. But I don't know when they want me to start. I asked if I could begin at the end of April so that I can get this damn magazine done, but if they say they want me now...
Bye-bye magazine.
It's all so tough. I don't want to bail on my friends and the people at Humber, but with only a month left to go and a future to consider, what are my options?
I don't know that I have any. At any rate I figure EYE will respect my position and maybe even impress them that I'm committed to finishing what I started. After all it took this guy three months to email me back about the internship.
Who knows, who knows....
If any of you have phones and wish to call me and calm me down you have my full endorsement.
I'm done.
I'm so screwed.
My fellow art director, Jason, just got a job. That means I now have to handle an entire 60-page magazine by myself in terms of layout, creative design, contents, masthead, etc... and that's no joke. Granted I have roughly a month in which to do this and lots of access to the school and computers, but this is a HUGE amount to lay down on someone.
I'm not really worried about my abilities to do it, but more in the amount of time in which I have to do all this. We were in the middle of designing a cover logo and a contents page, as well as the guides for the pages and text in the rest of the issue. I'm just no good at picking out fonts and headers to use for a magazine. I can work wonders with what I have but... damn.
On a side note I'm in extreme pain. Just got off a night of re-lamping the BMO building downtown and every joint is quite sore. I'm supposed to start karate tonight so I'm sure I'll look completely ridiculous trying to do, well, anything.
Oh, but the magazine... I'm so intent on trying to write my articles and handle my photos that I really don't have much of anything done art wise. I just wasn't concerned because there were two capable and creative people going to town... hopefully Pushee will be able to step up to the plate and help.
I'm so fucked.
Monday, March 22, 2004
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12:15 p.m.
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Catherine and I got home after a fun and successful NYC trip Sunday morning around 4am. Thank god we got a ride home from school with a friend of ours otherwise we would have had a much longer route back home involving crashing on other people's couches.
The trip was great, though. We spent a lot of time in Time's Square, went up the Empire State Building, strolled through Central Park and ate at several of the million deli's they have in that city.
They also have a lot of McDonald's and Burger Kings. Crazy.
Still, it's hard not to get swept up in the fast pace and crowded streets of the city. There's a constant buzz going on there that's hard not to like. Also, as you look up at the huge buildings you can see how effective a hero like Spider-Man would be in this city. Every manhole cover I passed I wondered if the Ninja Turtles were down there.
Even though it only amounted to two and a half days of sightseeing, we're exhausted. Heck, we didn't even make it out of Manhattan. Though I did get to go to Marvel Comics' offices and have a look around. Much smaller than you'd think, quite dirty with splotches of dirt on the carpet and scuff marks all over the walls, no ventilation (the place was damn hot) but all in all, a cool experience. How many people have gotten to stick their heads in there? Jeez, I'm a happy guy.
The bus ride was long and uncomfortable. The way there we all tried our best to sleep even though the bus driver was cranking music to ear-splitting levels. The way back was better as I threw on a few DVDs for us to watch thanks to the TV at the front. That made the trip go by much quicker.
All in all, a good trip. But I'm still tired so I'm going to go watch TV or something. Poor Catherine had to go to school today.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
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7:30 p.m.
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I have my comp, my clothes, my toothbrush, everything else I think I need... yet somehow I'm sure that I'm forgetting some secret, key, and necessary ingredient.
Any ideas?
I've got books, food, and a serious amount of fun in mind for the next few days. I suppose I should write down a phone number or two so I can get in touch with my New York buddies once I get into town. That would probably be a big help. Oh, and grab our US cash stash before I head out.
So many things that can go wrong, you know what I mean?
The girls are looked after. Sarah across the street is going to pop in and check on them. Which reminds me I need to get their food out on the table for Sarah. And clean up a little around the cage.
Gak!!
Vacations are stressful until you go on them. By that point there usually isn't a damn thing you can do if you have forgotten something and often people are resourceful enough to figure it out when they get there.
My heart, she beats fast... .and I didn't do my reviews this week.
Gak!!
Brody stopped by today. I know he's supposed to be up North, but he came to T.O. for a job interview. It seems he and his girlfriend, Lisa, are expecting a baby this July. Good LORD, one of us has managed to reproduce. Congrats my friend... and god help you.
I'm sure I'm forgetting something.
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
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10:52 p.m.
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I know it's just a game, but how can it be so addictive? Not since crack, pot, alcohol or beanie babies has such a product so ensnared my mind and that of my friends, all veterans now of a brutal interstellar war.
Actually, the brilliance of StarCraft lies in that it's free to play online with up to seven of your friends. This is double-cool in my opinion as most of my friends live too far away to 'hang out' with on a regular basis. This is great because if we were hanging out together we'd be playing video games anyway.
Still, it's a good way to connect. And you get to have fun and piss off your significant other whom you're ignoring the whole time you're playing.
StarCraft is also good considering that it came out in 1998 and could have easily gone the way of Tetris. Instead you can pick up both the game and the expansion at any EB for under $30. Considering how much time I've put in the game I'd say that it's more than worth the money and the amount of enjoyment that I've gotten out of it.
So hats off to WiltChamberlain, plaidchocobo, thewaxtadpole, NoNotGus, BaraCek, jasonesbain, nas-t-beatch and the terrans, zerg and protoss.
Fire it up.
Monday, March 15, 2004
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8:53 p.m.
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Better than I would have thought, really. Catherine and I are slowly but surely preparing for our American romp and the first step: get some green yankee cash.
Sounds easy, doesn't it? Well, turns out it is easy, too.
I figured we'd have to have our own banks here as something my mother said seemed to indicate that a heavy surcharge would be laid upon us for trying to convert cash we took out of a bank. Instead, Catherine looked up her banking info and saw that a CIBC machine on Bloor and Yonge will actually dispense US cash at the current trade rate.
Not bad. We now have more American money on us than Canadian.
Soon we'll be gathering our passports and other I.D. as we leave under cover of darkness... 12am... midnight... Wednesday...
Sounds exciting, doesn't it? The weirdest part is that the thing I'm looking the most forward to is simply the bus ride there and back. It'll be at least 10 hours or so but I just really like riding on buses. Ever since I went to Jasper. The trip back was a nightmare, but that's an entry for another day.
US... here I come. Hide the silverware.
Sunday, March 14, 2004
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7:35 p.m.
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Today my editor offered up a phrase which made me giddy with pride and flushed with relief. "That's a really good story," he said.
The most feared part of my day, other than showing up and not knowing what kind of assignment they're going to give me at the Sun, is that period between 4pm and 6pm when the editor gives the thumbs up on your work and you're free to rejoin the rest of society.
I've been there as last as 8pm before. You don't want to do this.
Instead, I try to have my copy in by about 4pm, just in time for the editorial afternoon meeting (which I don't go to, I surf the net instead). That way when he gets back he can look at it and if there's anything REALLY wrong with the thing I can go and fix it. It's very stressful.
But he liked my work today. Not that he normally doesn't, but the praise came as a welcome relief. I'm not sure why I care, but I do.
If you're wondering, I had to cover the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Toronto. It wasn't too bad except for the float that was an actual working bar (bottles, glasses, even a mini putt course), and the walking cans of Guiness. Yes, people dressed up as cans of Guiness. No, they weren't throwing out free samples.
It was REALLY damn cold. I couldn't hold my pen and once it started snowing my pad got all wet. That wasn't very cool. Still, it was towards the end and I got what I needed. I think. See, that's terrible too. Even though you ask and they tell you, you can NEVER be sure you have what an editor wants.
Which brings me to the moral of this story: ALL EDITORS ARE ASSHOLES. This includes yourselves as editors. This includes me as an editor. It's just a simple truth.
As for the story, it's scheduled to run tomorrow on page 2 or 3 with a likely teaser on the front cover. Not bad positioning overall.
But my article got a bit of praise. Nice.
And I didn't really like it. Isn't that always the way it is?
Head to The Sun tomorrow to read it.
Saturday, March 13, 2004
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10:36 a.m.
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In reading Aaron's post about his frustrations with his newsroom it strikes me both as doubly frustrating because (a) there's nothing he can do about it and (b) it's pretty much the same everywhere.
It's just going to take time, patience and a lot of luck before we find ourselves even close to where we need to be both career wise and financially. Until then we have to take jobs like porter and prostitute until we can do better.
Doesn't mean we have to like it.
But it's a fine Saturday morning. The cartoons are plentiful... nice doses of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and X-Men Evolution to tide us over... there's Nintendo, StarCraft and more.
Catherine and I are having guests over for dinner tonight from her old internship. It should be nice and Catherine is going to do the unthinkable and cook. I'd be worried but I tried her stuff out earlier this week and it was better than okay, it was actually pretty good!
(But don't tell her I said that.)
PS. Congrats to Aaron on his 'birth'. Poor bastard.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
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6:32 p.m.
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Next week Catherine and I will be taking a little trip to the Excited States. It seems that the magazing I was the EIC of, Magazine World, has picked up five awards down there which means I get a free ticket and hotel room on the college's dime.
I can live with that.
We'll be leaving late Wednesday and will get back, I assume, sometime on Sunday or very early Monday morning. I intend to make the best of this trip that I can with stops over at Marvel and lunch with Frank Tieri (Weapon X) and Chris Claremont (Uncanny X-Men).
You can't really ask for more and yet I really hope that this serves as the perfect romantic getaway for Catherine and I. While we do spend most of our spare time with each other it can get tough through the week to really get up the energy to care about ourselves much less each other. Hopefully we can take in a few shows, see the sights and get some fine dining in us.
And of course there's shopping to be done. It's too bad the dollar isn't reversed as I'd really go and clean up, but there's something so pure and commercial about shopping in the states. I don't get to do it very often, but each time it's like breaking in a new car.
Seriously.
Other than that, I'm just busy putting together the final touches on my Colin Mochrie interview as well as my pick up story for Convergence. We're having guests over this weekend so that means I took Saturday off from the Sun as well as all of next weekend. I don't really like missing my internship but the one thing I know for sure at this point is that I'm prepared for the job and now all that remains is to put in more time and build up more experience.
Later on tonight I'll be watching Survivor: All Stars. Rupert had better win as he's the one I like the most, followed closely by Lex. Yes, I know it's just a TV show but at the moment there isn't a whole heck of a lot else out there to care about.
Have you seen the teasers for upcoming new shows? Good LORD... spot the gay man, midget's racing camels... what a world.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
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8:46 p.m.
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While the full transcript from Colin Mochrie is slowly being worked on (the interview went for nearly 40 minutes) I'll attempt to tide you over with excerpts from another interview I did with a Toronto Star reporter named Cal Millar dealing with pick ups.
For those of you who don't know what they are, it involves going to the house of someone who has been killed or in a serious accident and asking the family members for a photo. Sounds ghoulish, doesn't it? Ah, but it's part of the game.
Here are four incidents related to me by Millar that I hope to include in the upcoming Convergence. Strange, bizarre, but examples of how messed up this world can be. Make sure you check back tomorrow for the Colin Mochrie transcript, though. He's a great guy and very funny though much more shy than you'd think. Jer will be pleased that I managed to work his name into the conversation.
PICK UP TALES:
*A car accident involving five teenagers, three of them from the same family where two sisters had died, had Millar reluctantly climbing the steps to ask for a photo. When the father appeared and Millar expressed his condolences the man had no idea what he was talking about. The father was a long-distance truck driver and had only arrived home a short while ago. Apparently the police notified the uncle, whom they thought was the father, by mistake. Millar had to explain to him what had happened as they waited for the police to arrive and inform the shocked father.
*Back in the day there was a crime called “alienation of affection” that involves one spouse leaving the other for someone else. While this is not an uncommon act, what makes this case strange is that it involved one midget stealing another midget’s normal sized wife. While trying to get photos from the bizarre situation, Millar wound up with a shotgun being pointed at him. At least he got the photo.
*On a pick up in Hamilton for the Toronto Star, Millar noticed that someone from the local paper was heading to the same house, presumably for the same thing. Millar beat the other reporter to the punch and asked a man for a photo of his wife who had just been killed in a car accident just as the other reporter reached the door. From the top of the stairs the man, holding two pictures, loudly proclaimed one for the local paper and the other for the Globe and Mail. Millar began to correct him, but the man laughed and only said he was joking. Millar was shocked that the man was in such a good mood but soon found out the reason why: his wife had been in the middle of divorcing him and cleaning him out at the time of the accident.
*A man had been killed who had no other family members left which made getting a photo a bit of a challenge. Millar went to a neighbour’s house and asked if they had any photos he could use. One neighbour claimed he didn’t have a photo, but did have permission to enter the dead man’s house. Millar assumed this meant he had a key, but saw the man climbing through a window of the man’s house which he quickly exited with the photo Millar was after. Millar asked him again if he had permission to do such a thing. The man just grinned and said, “Absolutely.”
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
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9:29 p.m.
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Yes, sports fans, yours truly has an interview tomorrow with Colin Mochrie, star of This Hour Has 22 Minutes and Who's Line Is It Anyway?
The only problem is that I need questions. And fast.
The general topic is about how the line is blurring between entertainment and so-called 'real news' into an all new and more prevalent form of media called 'infotainment'.
Please send me your interesting and or amusing questions dealing with this subject. It would most certainly help. I'll post a transcript of the interview on my blog tomorrow.
So get writing, and get thinking!
Help!
Jer and I rented EA's latest Gamecube offering, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King last night. We both had played The Two Towers before and agreed that while it was a good game it lacked a certain something that would qualify it as a GREAT game.
Return of the King is a GREAT game.
For one, it lets you play co-op. So I'd trundle off as Aragorn with Jer aka Legolas at my side and we'd fight in a varied, dynamic environment with a lot of other things, such as spears, that we could pick up and throw. It adds a lot of fun to what could otherwise be a static game.
As usual, the graphics and cinematic blendings are amazing.
Still, I wouldn't mind it if they allowed for a three player co-op experience considering Gimli stayed with us the whole way through as a computer-controlled helper. That would be my only addition.
At any rate, we played this late into the night and enjoyed pizza while poor Catherine was locked in the bedroom and forced to activities on her own. I'm sure she was quite upset by that (not).
Jer helped my Monday to be something enjoyable despite the fact that I still cleaned Rooter and Truffle's cage and tidied up a little. Today is going to be less ambitious though it should in fact be more so. I still have two interviews to do for Convergence though only one is arranged and my second draft is due this week.
I don't really care that much.
I'm also scrambling to arrange an interview with Kevin Smith, director of such screen gems as Clerks and the upcoming Jersey Girl. I've called all his PR people and now I'm just waiting to hear back.
This would be fun and professionally satisfying.
Wish me luck.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
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9:50 p.m.
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Otherwise known as a 'streeter' this is a horrid task that editors like to give to young rookies. It involves going out and asking the general public for their thoughts on a current event. That part isn't too tough, the trick, however, is getting them to agree to a headshot.
The reasons editors send rookies for these are twofold: one, they don't have to waste a 'real' reporter who can be busy reporting 'news' and the other is because they want you, like everyone before you, to pay your dues.
I can live with that.
But, still, for those of you who have yet to try to do one of these, especially in a crowded place like the Eaton Center in Toronto, here is a small accounting of what I went through and a few strategies to deal with the task.
My first streeter was to ask people "have you lost faith in Prime Minister Paul Martin after the recent sponsorship scandal." Now, this isn't such a bad question but the problem is that politics, like religion, gets people's backs up. I don't know why, it just does.
Common responses included a simple "no" to "let me see some I.D." with the occasional "bastard" and the most popular response of all: "I'm not from this country."
Now the problem that I had was that I didn't really know where to begin. I figured targeting lone individuals was probably a better shot at getting what I needed so I went up to people with nothing to do and were clearly waiting for someone else or just passing the time.
This is not necessarily the right way to do this.
I met with limited success. My task was to come back with six to 10 photos and while that may not seem like a lot it is a VERY tough thing to do, especially if you don't have experience or a knack for this sort of thing. It took me four hours to get SIX photos and towards the end I pretty much had to beg.
The odd part of this is that on subsequent jobs that I've been sent out on I've never really had much trouble getting people to talk. One assignment included talking to people about the fence at Withrow Park (where the dogs had been poisoned by tainted weiners) and another was about the February thaw. Both times were no problem and getting pictures were as easy as possible. I'll admit that on the second one I had help, but still, I couldn't figure out where the difference was coming from.
The most obvious answer would be that the question and the environment were better suited to talk to the people I most needed to talk to. They were out, they were present, and more importantly they were directly affected by the environment around them. What do most people know about politics?
What a bitch of an assignment.
Today I did another streeter. This one about a possible law in Ontario that would allow patrons to bring their own bottles of wine to a restaurant. I planted myself outside Mr. Greenjeans in the Eaton Center to get the 50, yes 50, replies that my editor asked for.
I was done in about 45 minutes.
The reasons for this are, once again, twofold: one, I had a much easier question and a location where people were once again directly affected. I only talked to people coming out of the restaurant (in less of a hurry and with full bellies) and this time groups weren't out of the question. Actually, when in groups people tend to goad each other on into letting me take their pictures.
The other was that I brought a press pass that was made at Humber where I study journalism. Granted it says Humber and not Toronto Sun, but at least it identifies me immediately as press and gets people interested. Most of them looked at the badge before they looked at me and all but one couple stopped for the less than two minutes I needed.
The moral of the story is that if you look the part, act the part, and don't have to deal in politics... you're set.
But hope to never have to do a streeter.
And Catherine wants me to mention her monkey slippers. They're quite cute.
Saturday, March 06, 2004
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8:26 p.m.
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When I woke up tired I knew I should have stayed home.
When I missed the King St. subway station stop I knew I should have stayed home.
When my desk was occupied by another staffer I knew I should have stayed home.
When Pat didn't show up I knew I should have stayed home.
When I was sent out to get coffee I knew I should have stayed home.
When the hours ticked by with no assignment I knew I should have stayed home.
It's 1:30. I've done nothing. My job has been to answer the phones.
It's 6. I got to type in someone else's article. I now know fulfillment on many deep, emotional levels.
I want to go home.
Friday, March 05, 2004
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7:28 p.m.
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Today I had an usually good day.
Most of the time, on my days off, I tend to sit around and stare at the walls. Really.
In fact, if it wasn't for my girlfriend I'd probably never leave the safe confines of home. After all, my stuff is all here. I can gorge myself on home video entertainment, search the web for boring bits of trivia that I'll store in my brain as the lesser-used knowledge, such as my ability to play the piano, gradually falls by the wayside.
It can be easy to get depressed. To fall into a funk. To just not care.
I woke up grumpy. It's our 'reading week' at Humber and I had to go in for a meeting dealing with our magazine, Convergence. It's not a bad mag, not a bad concept and the people I work with are great, but seriously, it's my day off.
You don't mess with that.
So instead you gather up a Gamecube, a couple of games and head out with the intention of getting the work out of the way and having fun. Fun is good. I don't often have fun other than with my girlfriend and sometimes guy fun is therapeutic.
Afterwards, Pushee and I headed out to the nearby mall to take up Bain's offer of a free movie. He's a cinema slut working the concession counter on this particular date so we snag two passes to Starsky and Hutch. I'm ashamed to say that not only was it not bad, but it was kind of good.
"I like your style."
"I like your moves."
And this has all had the wonderful result of me feeling slightly happier and more optimistic than just about anything else in a while. The moral of the story: get out and have fun with your friends. Doesn't matter what you do, but anything that takes you out of your head for a little while and into the here and now isn't a bad thing.
Try it.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
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1:59 a.m.
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So this is a blog.
It's quite the unflattering term, isn't it? Does it refer to an intestinal build up of gasses and other waste products? Is it an alien from Star Trek? Or is it simply a way for me to vent on the state of the world in a public forum?
Obviously it's the last, but right now I'm feeling a little gassy.
And why not? It's 2am, my girlfriend is sound asleep and I'm sitting here at the computer as though I have a plan or a purpose. Even this post is nothing more than an incoherent blathering on of things that are, ultimately, not important to anyone but me.
Kind of a sad state of affairs.
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