Wednesday, February 06, 2008 at 5:13 PM | 1 comments
It's testing all of my patience, this new job. Just when I think I've got a grasp on some part of it, the rug gets pulled out.

I'm getting a little bit friendlier with some of the people in the department, which is a huge help, but I'm still feeling like an outsider. I don't really expect this to change too much, though I figure it will get better.

What's pissing me off now is my students. If I could just get rid of five of them, my job would be much better. I have an academic history class (grade 10) that is driving me insane. My classroom management skills are quite good but these kids are just treating it like a constant party or as though it's the end of a semester. It's taking everything I have to keep things moving along and at least three times today I had to stop class and attempt to appeal to their better nature.

It's not working.

Soon, I think, I may stop working myself. It's hard enough just making it through the year, but when students leave the room and you start throwing chalk and crying it isn't a good sign.

I miss happier days. Unreasonable though it is, I'm super-ticked at my old school for letting me go. I pray that decision wasn't the beginning of the end for me.
Posted by Parallel
Saturday, February 02, 2008 at 6:49 PM | 0 comments
Image Hosted by ImageShack.usMy brain and heart feel as though they are in mortal peril. If I knew where I was going to wind up in September for school then I would feel much better about my current teaching assignment. I could plough through.

As it is, I feel myself circling despair which is unfortunate because great things are coming in the next month and a bit. I get married in less than a month to the most wonderful person in the world and then we're going to Cuba for our honeymoon. I love my wedding ring and wear it every day already.

Yet all of this is tainted simply because I can't stop whining about my transfer. I should be happy that I have a contract when so many people can't even get supply work, and yet I'm feeling burnt out. Worse than that, I simply don't want to go. I feel like I've already given everything I had to give and did it well. I'm satisfied with what I've done and it breaks my heart because it feels like I'm starting all over again. Like I built the most amazing house out of Lego and someone comes along and smashes it down just as I reach for the camera to take a picture.

I know the first year is about survival and I would have done just that, in style, with my old school. But starting over when I was already feeling tired? That's going to be the true test. Either I stand or I fall. I'm worried I'll fall and I don't want to have to feel this way when I'm about to get married.

I know this happens to many teachers, but I don't know any of them. I need a support group who really understands what I'm going through.
Posted by Parallel
Visit the Site
MARVEL and SPIDER-MAN: TM & 2007 Marvel Characters, Inc. Motion Picture © 2007 Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 2007 Sony Pictures Digital Inc. All rights reserved. blogger template by blog forum