Friday, July 23, 2004 at 3:24 p.m. |
It's been all right...
It's been all right...
It's been a ride...

And so, like television shows, milk, bread and an assortment of other products in this world my time at eye is nearly at an end. As I look at the clock showing less than an hour before my time of freedom and uncertainty I feel a certain amount of nostalgia.

Coupled with crippling fear.

The internship process has taken its toll on me in many ways. The first one I began was a year and a half ago at Kidscreen magazine. Sequestered in a corner under a flickering light far from the arms of my fellow writers and editors, my two days a week there felt more like solitary confinement than a valuable tool that was allegedly preparing me for a career in the outside world. I'd emerge at the end of the day with a sore back, weak eyes and a desolation matched only for those who are regular viewers of Dr. Phil.

The Toronto Sun wasn't a whole lot better, but at least I never felt like I was wasted. Well, there were a few joke jobs such as the damn streeters, but at least I got to cover city events and have by-lines on a regular basis. Again, the two days a week (this time stealing my weekend) hardly seemed worth it. I was the perpetual outsider relegated to walking the dog stories of the paper. It was only through my friend and editor, Brad Honywill, that I managed to leave that place feeling proud and as though I'd done something worthy.

When Bert Archer, the production editor at eye, gave me a call three months after I'd sent in my resume asking if I was interested in an internship I nearly had a heart attack. This was the place I'd been after since my first year and secretly coveted. Though I'll admit a certain unfamiliarity with a decent portion of its content as I'd only read the sections that interested me, it was far and away one of the few publications that held any allure for me whatsoever.

Then the hammer stroke fell. Unlike the two day a week masturbation sessions that were Kidscreen and The Sun, eye was not only to be full time, but a three-month odyssey.

That's a lot of time to wait when you've already felt as though you've paid your dues. How do you come into a place like this and put your heart and soul into something when you damn well know it isn't going to go anywhere other than on your resume? Well, the chance existed, though slim, of getting hired on at the end of the three months. Given that three interns had been hired within the past year, however, that seemed to make it highly unlikely. A few things have come up since then and it seems as though I may have a job here come the beginning of October in the production department, so I can't and won't say it's been a waste of time.

In all honesty I wish I had been more productive on the writing front. I'm more than capable and, in all honesty, not a bad writer (or even pretty good if I allow myself to really open up). But the approach and stories weren't entirely what I was expecting and as duties and work piled up both at work and at home, the desire to do extra was fading fast.

Still, I produced half a dozen reviews, a couple of decent stories and even a column. It's more than some though less than what I would have liked. Still, I can't complain as the door is still wide open.

The managing editor, Catharine Tunnacliffe, has been the best part of this job. She took me in and gave me more opportunities than the rest combined. Coupled with the fact that she's really nice makes her an amazing person. She's even going to help me out on the job search front in the meantime (if I remind her... she's incredibly busy).

The rest have all been great, especially Kieran Grant whom I worked with the most. A kind, decent person the likes of which are missing from this industry all too often. His partner-in-crime, Stuart Berman likewise gets the nice guy award. Staff writer Joel McConvey isn't too bad either. ;)

Damien Rogers is great, Ed Keenan is the ultimate drinking buddy and Holland Gidney is the most underappreciated proof reader out there. She deserves more credit than she's given.

The interns all suck. Matt, Luke, Sarah, Jules, Paul, Larissa. You're all drunk and crazy. Good for you.

I suppose I've just hit that moment of clarity. That end-of-movie moment when you stop and take a look around at where you've been and realize it meant more to you than you realized. When I walk out that door today it'll never be the same again. I may have a job here later and will likely be back for freelance related issues, but it won't be the same.

It's been the best internship yet and though there is nothing (and I mean nothing) ahead for me at the moment I can't help but want to come back here anyway. It's been a constant and relatively enjoyable experience. I come away with good references, positive memories and feel that now, more than ever, I'm ready for that next step.

God help me.

It's a rare experience and I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate it. Thanks, guys.
Posted by Parallel


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