Friday, August 13, 2004 at 6:29 p.m. |
The best that can be said for Alien Vs. Predator is that the tagline for the movie didn't lie. Josh and I went to see the film earlier today and after laughing through parts of the movie and complaining bitterly about it afterwards, I was suddenly struck by the ingenious marketing campaign that the film used.

After that, I couldn't complain anymore. They flat out told us what to expect.

"Oh," said Josh. "That makes it okay then. I like the movie much better now."

Indeed. The immortal tagline "Whoever wins, we lose." was simply stated and undeniably true. The audience lost. Big time.

At least we only paid $4.25 each.

I knew the movie was going to suck after reading a non-review of it earlier today. It seems that Fox decided NOT to allow press screenings of the movie. Ouch. The only movies the article lists with such bold moves in the past included The Avengers with Sean Connery and Get Carter. You know you're bailing on your movie when...

The second indicator that it was going to blow was that it was only rated PG. Even the fricking Matrix was rated R for reasons unknown. Every previous Predator and Alien movie was restricted, but THIS thing was only rated PG.

The third and final blow was the director, Paul W.S. Anderson who was responsible for other stink-fests such as Resident Evil and Mortal Kombat (though at the time it came out, I liked MK a little. I saw it again recently... good LORD what was I thinking?).

All things considered, this movie is a renter if it's even worth THAT much money. The baddies don't even show up for nearly 45 minutes and the rest of the flick is filled with so many holes in continuity and cheesey moments that it made me want to gag on my root beer.

Still, not bad. Lots of Alien blood and guts. Off screen, of course.

Man, did we lose...
Posted by Parallel


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