Thursday, August 26, 2004 at 12:22 p.m. |
As a few of you figured out, my long absence from this blog or even from the internet comes as a result of a broken heart. Last Sunday night, my beloved little one, Rooter, passed away.

Aaron wrote me yesterday saying that he understood the kind of pain that I'm in and I know that he does. Rooter was far too young to have passed away. The vet called it a heart defect common in small animals, but I call it a cruel twist of fate. You see, Rooter wasn't even three years old. Some may think that's ages old for a small animal, but degus typically live anywhere between 5 and 9 years old. By any reasonable count, Catherine and I were cheated out of a couple of years.

The main part of my time lately has been trying not to think of it that way, but rather look at the fact that we had three incredible years to spend time with an extraoridinary little girl. She was the brave one of the two, always taking off and exploring things first before her timid sister would follow. She also had boundless energy as she rearranged things in the cage to knock them over or move them around. It could become frustrating at times when you wanted a bit of quiet, but now that near silence is deaffening.

Rooter was very much loved by Catherine and I. Though it's been a few days, I'm still nowhere near over the pain that this has caused us. Catherine has the distraction of work, but I'm at home all the time and unable to find anything to do that will carry my mind too far away.

Truffle is the one I worry about at the moment. Though she still has a bit of energy she's obviously quite saddened by the loss of her sister. She's lost her perk and zest. The stress is quite obvious as she hasn't been pooping properly since the ordeal. I'm doing my best to give her space, but my zeal as her Dad makes me want to rush in and care for her.

We gave her a little stuffed moose to sleep with. At first we were worried that she would chew it up, but the first thing she did was snuggle down with it. The whole thing was so cute it made me want to cry again.

The hardest part of grieving comes when you start to get over it. That's not something you really want to do or are prepared to let go of, yet each day it becomes a little easier. I talk to Rooter now as much as I talk to my dog, Jack, who passed away some years ago. I picture the two of them and Catherine's dog Barney together waiting for us. It offers me some comfort.

The important thing I try to remember is that Rooter was very much loved and her family was with her every step of her short life. She's gone much too soon but her mom, sister and I will do our best to make her proud and to never stop loving her or remembering her incredible life.

Rooter, I miss you. I wish you were here.
Posted by Parallel
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