Saturday, September 08, 2007 at 10:47 a.m. |
The title of this post sounds bleak, I know, but it's also the struggle in which I find myself daily. Many of you have called or written to ask how my first day (and now week) of teaching was and to be honest I can't give a fair assessment because my opinion varies almost minute to minute.

There are a lot of good things to like about the school and the job. Two of my classes require the same preparation so that makes things easier. One of my classrooms has couches and a personal computer for me to use. That's pretty nifty. Most of my students, though they look like deer in headlights, are very nice and I'm sure I'm going to enjoy their company.

The bad things I won't elaborate too much on because it doesn't do me any good to dwell. My negative feelings, which currently outrank the positive because it's human nature to look at the bad rather than the good, are something I'm dealing with. Ask any teacher and they will tell you this isn't a simple job where you put in the hours and go home without a worry, but this volume and stress is compounded to an insane degree when you're first starting out. It probably wouldn't be so bad if there was a department head or someone there that I felt I could turn to for all of my questions and concerns. It's not that people are unhelpful at this school, it's that currently the whole thing is an unknown quantity and people are sorting out their own courses.

How was my first week? Well, I got through it. I think I did my lessons well and I'm prepped for all of next week already. This is a very good thing, yet right now I'm filled with the anxiety of the weeks to come and the steep learning curve. But Catherine assures me I can do it and I can't think of anyone else who knows my limits better.
Posted by Parallel


Jer said...

It will probably be a matter of feeling this way until Christmas when you suddenly realize that you've gotten through an entire semester without even noticing. I find that's typically how long-term stress is resolved -- constant fear of the future until you pass through on the other side.

6:15 p.m.  
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