Monday, November 21, 2005
at
2:48 p.m.
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Every so often one is lucky enough to bear witness to an event that, as good as it is in the telling, pales in comparrison to the actual event itself. In this case, it is an act of awkwardness, publicly done no less, that not only warrants telling but demands that a new term be invented to explain it... I give you... the browner.
Last Friday, my office had their annual Christmas gift exchange (yes, I'm aware it's November... Happy November, everyone) and we did a Secret Santa gift swap. The terms of the swap are simple: find something nice for the person you drew out of a hat within a $15-$20 range.
Most of the gifts were harmless. Bowls, beers, food, and books. Typically holiday fare. One man dared to be different...
Background: Mr. Brown and Ms. Gift Receiver worked together for some time at another company which we recently acquired. Through my own frank talks with the Miss, she's not a fan of Mr. Brown though has not openly said anything against him but they never speak to each other. Mr. Brown makes attempts to get her attention and Nate speculated for some time (as did I) at some potential trist existing between them, but given Ms. Receiver's statements, I didn't think it likely.
Mr. Brown goes for broke. His gift is a Blind Date DVD jewel case that he has created himself. It includes logo, head shot of the host, and is made to seem like a real product, though it's obvious it's been printed out. Some of the special features and chapter selections include "dinner, taking in the game, the hot tub scene, and the limo ride home." Deleted scenes included Ms. Receiver and her roommate (graphic lesbian photo attached the the cover, one of whom looks like Ms. Receiver) having some fun.
Inside the case was a single ticket to see the Maple Leafs. After processing his info for a minute or more, Ms. Receiver looks at Mr. Brown and asks if he has the other one. He smiles, nods, and says "yep."
His gift is essentially a date night for the two of them to see the Maple Leafs, but given the content on the jewel case and the slightly enforced nature of the gift, no one knew what to say. You see, Ms. Receiver, trying to look as gracious as possible, has been in a relationship for more than 6 years. Mr. Brown is himself a newlywed.
The awkwardness was palpable. Everyone is trying to laugh at how clever Mr. Brown was, and how creative his gift was. The case is PASSED AROUND to everyone who looks at it and tries not to seem horrified. Whispered conversations afterwards reveals that I was not the only one feeling uncomfortable. Patrick, our foreign boss, dryly states that he wonders what Ms. Receiver's boyfriend is going to make of this gift.
What indeed? If she so wished, she could sue Mr. Brown and the company for all it's worth. Hell, it's not a bad idea. It certainly was one of the most brutal sights I've seen in quite some time. The only other highlight was my gift to Nathan. He had to open five boxes, one inside the next, only to find nothing. Then I handed him his present from where it was on the desk behind him. I laughed. That's what's important.
So, in the interim, I've decided that public awkwardness on this scale should be called a 'browner' but I open it up to the rest of you to determine how fitting a name this is.
What a dumb thing to do. But it's GREAT conversation fodder.
Last Friday, my office had their annual Christmas gift exchange (yes, I'm aware it's November... Happy November, everyone) and we did a Secret Santa gift swap. The terms of the swap are simple: find something nice for the person you drew out of a hat within a $15-$20 range.
Most of the gifts were harmless. Bowls, beers, food, and books. Typically holiday fare. One man dared to be different...
Background: Mr. Brown and Ms. Gift Receiver worked together for some time at another company which we recently acquired. Through my own frank talks with the Miss, she's not a fan of Mr. Brown though has not openly said anything against him but they never speak to each other. Mr. Brown makes attempts to get her attention and Nate speculated for some time (as did I) at some potential trist existing between them, but given Ms. Receiver's statements, I didn't think it likely.
Mr. Brown goes for broke. His gift is a Blind Date DVD jewel case that he has created himself. It includes logo, head shot of the host, and is made to seem like a real product, though it's obvious it's been printed out. Some of the special features and chapter selections include "dinner, taking in the game, the hot tub scene, and the limo ride home." Deleted scenes included Ms. Receiver and her roommate (graphic lesbian photo attached the the cover, one of whom looks like Ms. Receiver) having some fun.
Inside the case was a single ticket to see the Maple Leafs. After processing his info for a minute or more, Ms. Receiver looks at Mr. Brown and asks if he has the other one. He smiles, nods, and says "yep."
His gift is essentially a date night for the two of them to see the Maple Leafs, but given the content on the jewel case and the slightly enforced nature of the gift, no one knew what to say. You see, Ms. Receiver, trying to look as gracious as possible, has been in a relationship for more than 6 years. Mr. Brown is himself a newlywed.
The awkwardness was palpable. Everyone is trying to laugh at how clever Mr. Brown was, and how creative his gift was. The case is PASSED AROUND to everyone who looks at it and tries not to seem horrified. Whispered conversations afterwards reveals that I was not the only one feeling uncomfortable. Patrick, our foreign boss, dryly states that he wonders what Ms. Receiver's boyfriend is going to make of this gift.
What indeed? If she so wished, she could sue Mr. Brown and the company for all it's worth. Hell, it's not a bad idea. It certainly was one of the most brutal sights I've seen in quite some time. The only other highlight was my gift to Nathan. He had to open five boxes, one inside the next, only to find nothing. Then I handed him his present from where it was on the desk behind him. I laughed. That's what's important.
So, in the interim, I've decided that public awkwardness on this scale should be called a 'browner' but I open it up to the rest of you to determine how fitting a name this is.
What a dumb thing to do. But it's GREAT conversation fodder.
Posted by
Parallel
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