Thursday, April 27, 2006
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12:01 p.m.
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 Though I spend more time thinking about and reading about toys than could possibly be natural for a man my age, I must confess that the Transformers line of Masterpiece figures, thus far only consisting of the 20th Anniversary Optimus Prime, are truly works of art.
The Optimus Prime was metal and cartoon accurate while still being a fantastic Transformer. He came with a ton of accessories and many thought this was a one-time deal. Well, apparently not, as the Decepticon jet Star Scream, has just been announced and looks PURTY.
I don't know that I'll be able to pick this one up, assuming that it's in the similar price range of the Optimus. That's too bad, as I only ever saw Prime once at retail and that was it. Gone for good, gone forever. A hot ticket toy item that now exists at home and will forever be known as my most valued figure.
Star Scream looks just as good, but alas, he won't be out until late September. I'll be in school (and jobless) at that point living on what I've been able to save up (no OSAP for me) and what Catherine brings home. Technically I suppose we could afford it, but you don't repay your partner's support and kindness by buying a $100 toy.
You wait until November and buy a Nintendo Revolution. (EDIT: Odd timing and breaking news... the name of the new Nintendo console has moved from the hip and provocative Revolution to... Wii. As in 'we'. As in "I have to wee-wee." They claim it will settle into the public mind much like google, yahoo, iPod, and tons of other names that were thought of as odd. Me? I think they're kidding themselves. It's a TERRIBLE name).
Other news: picked up season 2 of Battlestar Galactica. If you aren't watching yet, then you hate television in any way, shape, or form. Great stuff.
Tonight is the annual bowling extravaganza here at work. Two years ago (before I was here) they handed out team-colored bowling shirts. Last year it was ball rags. This year its dog tags. No, the company isn't doing poorly as they cleared an insane amount of profit last year... they're just dirt cheap and evil.
Got my passport back in the mail. This means I'm going to China (or I'm at least one step closer). Now I've just got to get my Chinese visa, get all my doctoring done (dentist, doctor, etc.) and jump on a plane. I have 10 weeks to do it.
Also, because I'm proud of how well my photoshop skills are coming along as a result of being bored, here's the before-shot of the ad featuring the Star Scream picture I made above...
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
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10:09 a.m.
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 Though I suppose it's really nothing that I NEED to make fun of, I'm still going to go ahead and do it. This past Sunday, my brother Graydon and his girlfriend, Tammy, got married in that most sacred of places on Earth... a wedding chapel in Vegas.
For those of you who know my brother, this doesn't seem terribly odd.
I love my brother dearly and I know this occasion meant a great deal to him, but I just couldn't afford to go to Vegas with the way my year is shaping up. I have a trip to China and then teacher's college, so flying down to Vegas just wasn't in the cards. I wish them all the best and they seem very well suited to each other.
Still, though... he got married in Vegas. My dad was also there and people who I assume to be members of Tammy's family. The service (which you can access via this link:
My brother's wedding. How modern!) was short and run by a sweaty preacher who kept leaning on the podium (from what I could see). I had to laugh at the use of a 'unity candle' during the service, though. Each person takes a lit candle and they jointly light a third. They then blow out their own candles because now 'they are one.'
 What a pile of ridiculous sentimental crap devised by people who obviously love self-help books! I get what they were trying to do, but come ON!
Oh well. Tammy looked nice in her dress, the ceremony was nice, and now I have a new sister-in-law. They suit each other and hopefully will work well together, despite the rocky year by brother is going to have thanks to Imperial Tobacco closing and him losing his job.
As for the wedding, I regret not being able to be there and I may have been convinced to go if they had shelled out an extra $100 to have Elvis, Marilyn, Tom Jones, or (another) Elvis present for the ceremony. Heck, if you're going to get married in Vegas, GET married in Vegas.
'Unity candle'. Ha! I'll have Catherine put that on our grocery list of things to pick up. Sheesh!
***PS. I made the above ad using a photo they had on the wedding website. Similarly, the photo at the top is a screenshot mixed in with some photoshop work. In other words, though nothing amazing, I'm trying to show off.***
Thursday, April 20, 2006
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11:04 a.m.
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 Above: a couple of photos I took along with a caption I wrote about a raccoon in a precarious perch on Monday, April 17.
Sometimes it just feels like there's not much to say, so this blog has been pretty dead for the past week or so. On my walk home on Monday, however, I stumbled across this cute little news item of a raccoon who was stranded on top of a street light just around the corner from my building.
I could see a news crew and several people staring towards what I thought was a rooftop so I figured there was a celebrity or some sort of filming going on. Normally I wouldn't stop, but I was curious and after a moment or two spotted the 20 lb. raccoon on top of a VERY tall street light.
Finding this fascinating, I went home and grabbed my camera and Catherine and we returned to snap a few picks. Most of the people seemed nice, but one young woman in her early 20s thought it was fun to go over and kick the pole to try and jar the raccoon loose. No one said anything, as the woman quickly moved away. No one was impressed.
After snapping a few picks and going home, we made sure that despite the presence of CTV that the city was notified about the critter's peril and we were assured that they knew and were sending a "cherry picker" to get the little guy down.
CTV later revealed that the raccoon got down safe and sound and that it had been up there for about 30 hours in the same position. It was quite warm on Monday as well, making it uncomfortable to say the least.
An article in the Toronto Sun covered part of the story (leaving out the outcome which isn't surprising as I know the sloppy journalist, a fellow j-schooler, who wrote the article).
From the article:
Panhandler Shawn Bedder, who saw the animal Sunday night and tried calling the fire department, the city and animal services to no avail.
"I finally got fed up and called the media. Five minutes later the city came," a frustrated Bedder said.
Toronto Animal Services officer Rick Ray said they were helpless to save the animal, pointing out the animal was more likely to fall during a rescue operation.
"We're looking at every angle to try to get him safe," Ray said, noting the raccoon was capable of shimmying down the pole, but unlikely to do so amid a throng of onlookers. "If he's hungry enough, he's going to come down."
In other news, I had my first taste of teacher's college and an orientation session. Everything seems on track and I just have to fill out tons of paperwork before I even get into school in September. They sure don't want to make things easy for you. Getting in is only half the battle.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
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12:28 p.m.
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 Today is Catherine's 27th birthday, a cause for celebration for most, but probably not for her. She never really knows how old she is and this continues to be a source of amusement. I remember asking her just before she turned 24 hold old she thought she was going to be, and she was off by a year (younger, I might add). Catherine proudly maintains to this day that she is incapable of aging.
Her inabiility to remember age is not restricted just to herself. She recently told a friend of hers that I was 27. She couldn't remember that I had a birthday five months ago and turned 28.
But I'll keep her.
I'm hoping she has a wonderful day (wonderful week, really). She's already eaten a piece of her birthday cake (Monday), opened a present (last Thursday), gone out for a birthday dinner with her friend (last night) and will be dragg...er... taking me with her to the zoo this weekend.
Milking it? Maybe. But who doesn't like to drag out fun on your birthday?
The funny story I promised: I bought Catherine two zoo passes online weeks ago and was waiting for them to arrive. They finally did, addressed to me, along with two other birthday cards for Catherine in the mail one day. No big deal, I stashed the zoo passes and left the cards. She won't open anything (used to be true, anyway) until her birthday.
There was no postmark on one of the cards and we were trying to figure it out. Was it from England? No, the postmark was Canadian. Was it my mom? Didn't look like her writing. Finally, I suggested that I open it, see who it was from, and end the the mystery. She wouldn't get to see the card, but at least she'd know.
So I went into the kitchen and opened it. My first reaction was to be annoyed. Some insensitive jerk had sent her two zoo passes! Someone swiped my idea and I was NOT pleased. I read who the card was from and felt like a tool.
The zoo, being kind, sent her a birthday card and signed it as being from me.
"Who's it from?" she called.
I ignored her, processing the humor of the situation. She called after me again, this time slightly angry at being ignored, so I sheepishly walked into the bedroom.
"Well?" she asked.
"As it turns out," I said slowly. "It's from me."
She thought that was pretty funny. The letter *I* got had a zoo flyer and my receipt.
The next day at dinner she started pressing me and pressing me to go to the zoo for her birthday. I said 'no' quite often (I'm not a huge fan) but she seemed so sad about it that I gave her the card the next morning.
Just goes to show, make me feel bad and I'll give you what you want. I'll have already bought it for that fact.
Happy *27th* Birthday!
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
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12:47 p.m.
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 The above illustration that I put together this morning will be explained shortly as it deals with fun and games at last night's Blue Jays season opener. However, those of you who are paying attention know that I've been awaiting word on whether or not I got in to teacher's college. No mail on Monday or Tuesday, but a visit to the Compass website this morning reveals all... or at least what I wanted to see.
Lords and ladies, boys and girls, the two people who visit this blog... I made it. Though the University of Toronto claimed they would not post the results until 8:30am, at 7:41 I found out that I was admitted to the U of T. The building is between Spadina and St. George on Bloor, making it a whole five minute walk to the school.
A huge burden has been taken on my back as I doom the educational future of thousands of students. I can't hope to be as good as Nicole or Lindsey, but I'm going to do my best to be what I feel I was meant to be: a good teacher and role model.
Stop laughing.
So, come September I have something to do now. That means I'll be leaving my job in early July to go to China, then either work here part time or do some freelance until September. Either way, I'm on a path and greatly looking forward to it. Thank you all for your encouragement and support, especially Aaron, Jamie, Nicole (sorry I won't be staying with you, but four would be a crowd), my mom, dad, Josh, Paul, Nathan, and Jer.
The most important person, however, is Catherine. I try to express how strongly I feel about her in this blog, but it doesn't come close. She is the most loving, supportive, and caring person I have ever known and without her I wouldn't have gotten in. She was more excited by the news than I was as I just couldn't help but be happy that she cares so much. Truffle cares as well, but she's more interested in pooping.
Now, on to the picture above...
Catherine and I went to the home opener yesterday and there were three kids sitting behind us. One of them had a flag and would constantly wave it, often brushing my head with it. I'm tolerant and they're small, so whatever. At one point, the jumbotron shows three little kids on it, one with a flag. I remark to Catherine how it's like the kids behind us, and then realize that the spiked hair at the bottom of the screen (and slightly balding head) belongs to me. So, I did what came naturally, and raised myself in my seat high enough so that my head until just below my nose was visible, then I did the shifty-eyed dog look.
Then sat back down. The people around me, and Catherine especially, found this quite amusing. The illustration above featuring total strangers in uniforms I had to change to be Toronto gets across what it kind of looked like.
Another amusing part came from the pizza pizza booth. I was waiting in line for what felt like forever and when I finally got to the scared looking teenage girl and made my order of two slices of pizza and a large coke, she blinked and said "24.32."
"Uh, for two slices and a large coke?" I asked.
She repeated it. I was still confused. Then she explained that she wanted to know if I wanted a medium 24 ounce cup or a large 32 ounce. I said "which is considered the large?"
"The 32 ounce," she said.
"I'll go with that one, then."
Then she coughed once. Just a small cough that I barely noticed. She looked at me, horrified, then turned around without a word, walked to the back of the room, then off to the left. She was gone for about thirty seconds then came back and stared at me.
"I coughed so I had to go wash my hands," she said.
"Okay. No problem."
"What did you want?" she asked. I repeated my order and she skipped over the day-old pizza and got some fresh slices. She grabbed the wrong kind of slice so I corrected her. She she did a tiny cough again.
She looked at me, horrified again, then turned around without a word (again), walked to the back of the room (again), then off to the left (again). She was gone for about thirty seconds then came back and stared at me. I was just praying she'd fill my order before coughing again.
She gave me everything then asked "have you paid me yet?"
I said yes, which I had, then walked away.
Fun place, the Skydome.
I have another funny story about a letter received in the mail, but I'll wait until after Catherine's birthday next Wednesday to tell you as otherwise she'll find out what the gift is. She's crafty like that.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
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9:55 p.m.
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 I did it, I caved. I was walking by a local used DVD store with Catherine today and saw the first season box set of Battlestar Galactica used and on sale so I bought it. This is even considering the fact that I rented it just two weeks ago.
Already, I know Jer will be calling to borrow it. He grabbed a couple of the discs I rented and fell in love with it and I know he wants to continue on. I can see many others borrowing it from Aaron to my Dad, brother, people I work with, people Catherine works with... all in the vein of what happened when I bought Firefly so long ago.
As a tip of the hat, Serenity herself appears in the first disc within the first 15 minutes. A lot of the camera angles and space shots are done in a similar way.
Beyond all of that is an amazing story and an amazing cast. I rented the first half of season 2 and loved it (what a BRUTAL cliffhanger) and have now caught up to Space's current airing of the series.
Those who want to see it, let me know. You won't be disappointed.
Simply amazing stuff.
Oh, and tomorrow I finally find out. Months of applying, wondering, and waiting. Tomorrow should have the answer.
Unless there's a delay with the mail.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
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2:25 p.m.
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 Lost has become a never-ending addiction to finding out the truth behind the island, the most important cast member of this show. Last night's episode had Locke and the mysterious Henry Gale trapped inside the Dharma Initiative hatch called "The Swan." A crackle of radio static, then an ominous countdown, and all of a sudden all blast doors came down and trapped the men inside.
The exciting part came after the lights flickered out and a black light came on, revealing to Locke a huge map of the island and where other Dharma secrets might be kept. It was only on the screen for a second, but even I sat up to take notice.
Others went to work. Deciphering French, Latin, numbers, and crude scribbles, this map has largely been decoded, but it asks more questions then it answers.
I can't wait for next week.
The map, attached above, should fill in the rest of you on what you saw but didn't see. Click on it to see a full sized version.
Television speculation should always be this much fun!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
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11:00 a.m.
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 This is a true story.
Well, it's a true story of a dream I had last night that Nathan insists is a lie. He thinks I had to have been stoned or drunk, but no, I'm weird enough to come up with this on my own:
I got pulled over by a cop who wanted to know why I was running from a couple who were trying to steal my van (I don't actually own a van). I had a copy of The 40 Year Old Virgin in the DVD player, which they were trying to steal. I don't know why they wanted it, but I was freaked out.
As we talked, suddenly the van was gone and two of the people climbed this stone pillar/perch where there were purple eggs. One of the eggs fell off but the cop grabbed it. It started to crack and pop open, and for some reason we knew it was a VELOCIRAPTOR egg!
Despite being in an egg, this was terrifying as THIS kind of velociraptor would be able to kill us right away. Another egg fell down and I grabbed this one, which also started to hatch. Then, we realized the ground we were on was part of a field of eggs laid out flat like a plastic kitchen floor and each panel was an egg that was about to hatch!
We all started to run away over this field of eggs, leaving a slush trail behind us whereever we stepped and listening as they all started to crack open. The good news was that you could slide quite quickly along the ground. I saw the van, and it had torn a strip out of the field in its wake as it moved towards me.
I jumped into the moving van (actually, it was a cool flip) that the others were in and as we got to the metal gate exit of this purple egg park, overhead we saw a half man/half bug with whispy wings that looked to be part torn fabric, part dragonfly.
We tried to get the van to hop up and splatter it on the windshield, but before we could we realized that it was OSAMA BIN LADEN. Just then, there was choir-like music thundering around us like something out of the matrix repeating over and over... OSAMA! OSAMA! (See the photo illustration I made with photoshop and too much spare time for a glimpse of the terror that I endured)
We got through the gate and he was flapping after us, realizing what we had done to his egg farm. It was quite scary. We thought we lost him only to see him flying in the distance. Just then, we crashed into one of his henchmen in a bright red suit who stopped the van short immediately. Then...
I woke up.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
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3:52 p.m.
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It's funny, but for a place that I hate working at so much, there are a lot of amusing bits that come out of it.
Yesterday, for instance, had this gem:
We've been dealing a bit with that ridiculous Nigerian email scam, except our members try to lure other members (quite successfully) into this scam. I laugh at the people who complain because they're quite clearly idiots who will believe anything.
At any rate, one co-worker decided she was going to fight the threat head on. She wanted to send out an email to the tens of thousands of people using our system warning them of the problem. She'd been doing some research on fraud and came across one website that had a handy slogan for detecting and avoiding the problem.
"I really like this slogan," she said.
The rest of us blink and kind of ignore her. "Brian," she asks, do you think it'd be a big deal if we used this? Would it be a problem?"
"I'm sure it would be," I said.
"You think it's a big deal to steal this?" she asked.
"So let me get this straight," I said. "Your solution to fighting fraud is to commit plagiarism?"
Co-worker, take a bow.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
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9:14 a.m.
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“A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist toward the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.”
—Associated Press
The moral? Pain is funny. Cause someone some pain today, either real, or imagined.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
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11:19 a.m.
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 The latest and greatest from the absurd world that is my job, one of the call centre women, a lovely older Indian woman whom Nathan and I tease constantly, came back to ask about one of our insane customers. This woman always has a kind smile and even gave me a birthday present.
She was quite excited as she's going to see the stage version of Lord of the Rings. Catherine and I went to see this stinker of a play last month (though it may have improved since then) and I've had nothing but negative things to say about it. Horrible acting, far too long, and the fact that it stops being a musical halfway through the first act.
So, being a jerk, I burst her bubble a little.
"I thought it was awful. It was just not good. It may have gotten better, however, as I only saw the previews."
"Maybe it's better now," she said.
"I hope so."
"I've heard it's good," she said.
"From who?" I asked. "Someone you know?"
"No," she said. "But I've heard it from caucasians (she pronounced it cauc-A-SEE-Ns)."
Sandy and Nathan started laughing. I commented that it was the most bizarrely racist comment I've ever heard. Then we tried to get her to pronounce it properly. She said she got complaints in the call centre all the time from people calling in to complain that they aren't caucasian at all, but white.
"What's the difference?" she asked.
"Caucasians are off-white," I replied.
Just insane.
Other news: I went back to Guelph this weekend, and though the whole city is my home, I was surprised at how dreary the place felt. It's kind of like moving out of your family home, then coming back for a visit once a new family lives there. It's the same house, but nothing is the way you remember it.
Saw V for Vendetta. Quite a good flick and not an action-oriented film at all. I was quite impressed.
Rented the first season of Battlestar Galactica. Just an AMAZING show. Must-watch TV with a few Firefly insprired space-camera work. Jer, you can borrow discs from me as I finish them. It's due back this Sunday.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
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11:37 a.m.
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 My quest to lose weight has been ongoing now for just under three months. I've been going to karate at least three or four times a week, walking excessively, and monitoring my diet. I haven't lost tons of weight, but it's pleasing to see the waistline slowly going down.
It's a bit disheartening though to go to karate and have a little kid mess it all up. You see, last night, I helped a new student for a little, then went to get changed. I come dressed in my uniform and have only to put on my socks, conveniently placed upon my shoes.
Some little shit of a six year old stole my sock.
I was left with one sock, and the option of another, different colored sock that would fit a small child. To add insult to injury, one of my socks had two holes in the heel, and that was the one he left.
GIVE ME BACK MY SOCK! Stupid kids.
It makes me want to give up on losing weight.
Catherine and I are still prepping for China. We've bought our backpacks and I'm getting my passport stuff ready. Catherine conned her parents into paying for hers for her birthday, which is still a month away. Go, Catherine!
Here's a bizarre news story from Hong Kong:
Several cafes in Hong Kong now lend their dining guests dogs and cats to pet during their visits. This temporary affection, according to a January Der Spiegel dispatch, is popular because Hong Kong residents find it so inconvenient to own pets in such a densely populated city. Also in January, the owner of the Augsburg, Germany, restaurant La Boheme confirmed that while customers are welcome to bring their own dogs with them when they dine, "small children" are not allowed in the evenings. "After a hard day's work, (diners) want some peace," he told Agence France-Presse.
Yes, waiter, I'll have the soup with the hairball that cat just coughed up.
Um, NO.
Friday, March 10, 2006
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9:50 a.m.
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 Though it's an oldie, Nate sent me this story earlier today and it tickled me. Not much else is going on except that it's Friday and I already need to take a nap. I just haven't been sleeping well this week. Oh well, it's the weekend now. Maybe Josh will buy Mario Kart and we can hook up our Gamecubes for an insane amount of fun.
From the Sydney Morning Herald, Monday June 15th, 1999:
An employee of Ansett Australia (who happened to have the last name of Gay) got on a plane recently using one of his company's "Free Flight" programs. However, when Mr. Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being occupied by a paying passenger. So not to make a fuss, he simply chose another seat.
Unknown to Mr. Gay, another Ansett Australia flight at the airport experienced mechanical problems. The passengers of this other flight were being re-routed to various airplanes. A few were put on Mr. Gay's flight and anyone who was holding a "free" ticket was being "bumped".
Ansett officials, armed with a list of these "freebee" ticket holders boarded the plane to remove the free ticket holders. Of course, our Mr. Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you may remember.
So when the Ticket Agent approached the seat where Mr. Gay was supposed to be sitting, she asked a startled customer "Are you Gay?".
The man, shyly nodded that he was, at which point she demanded: "Well, I'm afraid you'll have to leave the aircraft".
Mr. Gay, overhearing what the Ticket Agent had said, tried to clear up the situation: "Excuse me, you've got the wrong man - I'm Gay!".
This caused an angry third passenger to yell "Hell, I'm gay too! They can't kick us all off!"
Confusion reigned as more and more passengers began complaining that Ansett Australia had no right to remove gays from their flights.
(Ansett have refused to comment on the incident)
Thursday, March 09, 2006
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11:20 a.m.
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 By now, you should all know that I love my TiVo. It is a brilliant invention and those of you who do not have one would do well to get one.
Every night, because nothing else is on, TiVo tapes two episodes of Angel for me, because it knows that I like the show. It arranges everything nicely, lets me burn my programs, and yes, it even comforts me if I'm feeling lonely or just need a good hug.
It's a very warm machine... and a good friend.
Oh, and Catherine and Truffle are around as well.
I run into Tivo references with alarming regularity now. It's in the newspapers, my Ultimate Spider-Man comics (seriously, it's a recurring theme, one issue had a group of thugs trying to fence them), and is even referenced in my favorite TV shows, such as Veronica Mars.
It's an invasion of the mind. I stare without blinking into a future of TV goodness.
Speaking of Tivo, some late breaking news from Catherine reveals that the company will no longer be offering lifetime subscriptions to the service, as of the end of next week. It costs about $12 US a month to use the box, unless you pay a smaller fee for the year, or outright purchase a lifetime subscription for $299 US. Tivo offers a discount when you buy through the store that halves that cost right off the bat. Well worth the effort.
I'm pleased Catherine and I have the lifetime service fee, good for as long as our unit survives, but I can imagine many others will be frustrated by this who don't yet have the units, and for Canadians in general who are just preparing to get the box in stores.
Jamie should make a run for the border... before it's too late!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
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10:53 a.m.
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 In four months, Catherine and I will get on a plane and head to the Orient. This is an exciting and daunting proposition, but one that I find myself increasingly excited about as the date gets closer.
It'll be a great trip, but I'm also looking forward to seeing Catherine's brother, David, just as much as the trip itself. Even though I have a brother of my own, David also fits the bill as well.
I haven't posted anything since my 'One Year Later' lament, but you'll be pleased to find out that the past week has been miserable (only at work) and that my computer crashes and average of three times each day. Yesterday, just as I packed up my lunch and containers my boss walked over to me. Not a big deal, but I still had half an hour left and was watching television on my monitor. He didn't say anything, but dammit, that ALWAYS happens to me. The ONE minute it could look bad, someone is watching.
Speaking of looking bad, today is my co-worker's birthday. Sandy and I work hand-in-hand on these awful ads each day and then bitch about them on the way home. Just as we did for Nathan, we made some horrible photos of her, two of which I'll post lower in the blog. One in particular will make a great many of you angry with me.
In other news, the new X-Men 3 trailer is out at Apple.com and looks much cooler than the first. Now I'm jazzed to see the flick.
In still other news, I figured I'd share some of my work misery by posting a few select ads that I've come across. Be warned, these people are messed in the head:
WANNA CHAT?
34 yrs old. amitious, lonely, but fun i hope, somewhat naive, grew up in religious cult so i struggle to make fast friends but i’m told i’m likeable... have acqiured much wisdom over the years. Ad#1
NICE, SUCCESSFUL GUY
21 yrs old. SW confused gentleman looking for a very young secret companion to wander deep into the forest with, no need to worry I brought a shovel. Ad#:2
WHY NOT PICK ME?
54 yrs old. I am available immediately, but fat, ugl,y and have a poor self-esteem. No body likes me, everybody hates me. Ad#:3
DISCIPLINED HEART
56 yrs old. In our daily choices,large and small, we contribute on one side or another in a continual struggle between good and evil, forgiveness and revenge, mercy and ruthless power. A true relationship is difficult at most. I am an optimist and feel there are wonderful ladies who will someday cross my path. Ad#:4
MISS HONESTY
49 yrs old. This meat market is absurd. Building hope in vain. If you would like to know more, call me. Ad#:5
Believe it or not, THOSE ARE REAL ADS.
And now, for the Sandy pictures!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
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1:49 p.m.
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Today marks the one year anniversary since I started working here. I wish I could say this with a lot of happiness and pride, but you all know this isn't a place that I intended to stay at for long.
My initial contract was six months. I didn't think I could do it, but I wanted the experience. Four months in, my co-worker, Colleen, quit and I was left in charge. They offered me more money which was good as I was going to walk. Now it's six months after that day and I've one more month until I find out about teacher's college.
I may hate my job, but I have to be thankful for the freedom and standard of living that it's helped to give Catherine, Truffle, and myself. That, and it's given me a few new friends like Nathan.
I've been doing my best to keep going in a positive direction. Teacher's college is one thing, my first published Marvel work has been another, as well as my freelance writing and my karate. I've been keeping busy and my overall happiness has gone up.
Still, I can't wait to be done here. In four months, I'll be done and going to China for three weeks, then hopefully back here for teacher's college. It's not a guaranteed thing yet, but I'm optimistic.
One year later... I still can't believe it. So much has happened. Aaron moved out of Toronto, Catherine and I celebrated six years of our relationship, David went to China, Nicole and Jamie are having a kid, Josh moved to Toronto, Paul and Vicky moved in together, Jer... did something... uh.. bought an Xbox (and did well at school).
That's just the tip of the iceberg. So yes, I hate my job, but when all is said and done... I've got a pretty great life.
The photos here were taken today by Nathan. My job DOES suck and is evidenced by the fact that my comp crashed on me twice and I became quite angry the second time. I lost half an hour of work, and then found out another ad I'd made before that one had been cancelled. In essence, I wasted an hour of my day.
The angry red symbol on my computer was a nice touch. Nathan tried to make things better by taking pictures while I was irate. He laughed the whole time, but that's because he's an ass.
I think I'll spend the rest of the afternoon watching TV or a movie... Enterprise or Serenity... I'll see how the mood strikes me.
At least OYL, I'm good enough at my job to waste time so effectively on a slow day.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
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4:32 p.m.
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 So, as promised, I'll talk briefly about my experience with the Ultimate Avengers DVD. It's not the worst cartoon I've ever seen, but the early trailers made it look like a direct copy of the amazing comic series, The Ultimates, by Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch. Aaron and Jer have read this and would no doubt agree with me.
This is not that movie.
It's passable, but many of the scenes shown in the trailer disappeared from the movie. This makes them dirty lying bastards.
Anyway, the whole review (and it's long) that I wrote is up at Comixfan. Honestly, it's fun enough to watch, but only a sucker like myself pays $15 for it.
Serves me right for having faith in Marvel.
Now to figure out that black suit Spider-Man is wearing in the next movie...
GEEK TALK DONE!
Monday, February 27, 2006
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12:01 p.m.
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 I don't normally condone this sort of nonsense, but I don't feel like writing up my Ultimate Avengers impressions just yet. I'll post images and a link tomorrow to a full review I wrote, but for now, just trust me that it isn't the worst thing I've ever seen, but it doesn't deliver on much of its early promise.
Aaron and Jer both did this nonsense list, and normally I avoid such things, but I may as well participate.
Four jobs I've had
Production artist
Movie extra
Hotel maid
supply teacher
(for fun... also paper route, office cleaner, gas station attendent, shopper's drug mart grunt, canadian tire grunt, home hardware cashier, fabric dome maker, imperial tobacco grunt, flea market grunt, changing lamps in office buildings, camp counsellor, L.I.T. co-oridnator, reporter, writer, business editor, art director, tutor, karate instructor, psychiatrist assistant, eBay listings writer, Christmas theme store worker, hotel porter, and I'm sure much, much more).
Four movies I can watch over and over
Shawshank Redemption
Stand By Me
Star Wars
The Princess Bride
Four places I have lived
Jasper, Alberta
Guelph, Ontario
Bolton, Ontario
Toronto, Ontario
Four TV shows I like to watch
Lost
Survivor
Alias
Dead Like Me
Four foods that I like
Cheeseburger
Chicken parm
Popcorn
Bruschetta
Four websites I visit daily
Whedonesque
Action-Figure.com
Newsarama
Coming Soon
Four things I want to do before I die
Sky diving
Publish a written Marvel story (not just a Marvel comic, which I can't believe I've done)
Publish a novel
Make Catherine & Truffle happy
Four places I would rather be right now
Work! (Just kidding, bash my brains in please)
Um... hrm. Home, NYC, Guelph, at Teacher's College
Is that it? Is that good enough? Wow, I sure hope so. Looking at that list makes me feel like a geek with my own little world of geekery. Not that it's a BAD thing, though!
In other news, I went up a level in karate over the weekend. Then, to celebrate, I helped supervise a tournament for little kids, hung out with Molly Johnson, and cleaned the apartment.
Nothing else happened. At all.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
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9:55 a.m.
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I made this wallpaper at work today because I was bored and didn't have much to do (for once). It's made up of 17 separate images and took the better part of my non-working day. This is a day that gave me a minute to call my mom, who wasn't home, for her birthday (Happy Birthday), and Nathan and I enough time to go to Best Buy so that I could buy the Ultimate Avengers DVD. More on that tomorrow.
So, that's my wallpaper. I like it. I needed a change. If anyone wants it, let me know what size and I'll send it to you. I don't expect to hear from anyone, as you're all jerks and likely making fun of me this very instant.
Good lord, I want to go home already.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
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11:26 a.m.
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 Because I'm bored, I was doing a job search at Jeff Gaulin's handy job site, and took a look at a posting made for an online writer for a media publication. Opening the job revealed that the position was at Brunico, and therefore of no interest to me (being the home of Kidscreen magazine and nest of self-important vipers) and saw this line in particular:
"If you have interned and written for a school publication, while we wish you the best of luck, this job is not for you, so please do not apply. We are looking for someone who can quickly become an expert in this field, and network successfully within this complex business sector in order to help develop a growing niche business brand."
What a bunch of f***ing hypocrits. This is one of Humber College's main sources of internships for their students and Brunico is essentially slapping them in the face and saying they aren't worth hiring. I mean, if they didn't offer internships in the first place, I wouldn't be so annoyed, but come ON... how can you devalue something you participate in?
Note to Humber: STOP SENDING PEOPLE HERE.
The more time away from school, the more convinced I become that while worthwhile to build skills and give a bit of experience, it really isn't going to do squat as Toronto is populated by companies like Brunico.
To call it frustrating is an understatement.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
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11:18 a.m.
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 WHO WAS ST. VALENTINE?
No one knows for certain, but the leading candidate is a third-century Roman priest named Valentine. After Claudius II decreed that his soldiers were not allowed to marry, the romantic Valentine defied the emperor and performed secret wedding ceremonies—for which he was caught and imprisoned. Valentine was enamored of the jailer’s daughter and, shortly before his execution, left her a love note that was signed “From Your Valentine.” He was beheaded on February 14, 269.
I thought I should put something romantic up for Valentine's Day. There's romance for those of you in love, and a bit of gore for those of you waiting in the wings.
Events have been busy of late, but I have not posted about anything. I think it's because I hate February. It's just a very useless month in the grand scheme of things. There are some interesting days, such as Groundhog Day, Valentine's Day, and my mom's birthday, but on the whole, it's just a bland, pointless month. I'm pleased it's the shortest. I just need a good long weekend.
Speaking of weekends, last week I had my interview at York University for Teacher's College. According to one sweaty guy who looked about ready to faint, York gets more than 7000 applicants a year, interviews about 2200, and takes about a 1000 total.
I had everything prepared to the gills. If I don't get in, it won't be because I didn't do my best. In that, at least, I'm pleased.
During my interview, I was asked to prepare five minutes beforehand about what inspired me to become a teacher. One of the two people present gestured at me to begin, so I took a breath, stood up, and gave my talk.
The rest of the interview went well, and at the end, they both commented on how I was the only person they interviewed who stood up. They said it was effective and impressive. These are VERY good things to hear after an interview like this. I'm liking my chances now more than ever, but I refuse to get my hopes up. And for those of you smart-asses out there, no, I didn't mention a blow-up doll.
I was one of four guys waiting for an interview. One was the nervous guy, another was a Hell's Angel reject, and one guy, decked out in a tweed jacket and jeans, looked like he was expecting a job as a professor. The rest of the waiting room had more than twenty women waiting for an interview. Crazy.
That off my back, I can finally relax. Other amazing news is that Catherine had her review at work, and they told her that she was basically perfect (something I already knew) and gave her a hefty raise for being so great. I couldn't be more pleased, and tonight we're doing a Valentine's Day/raise/end of teacher's college prep celebration to pat ourselves on the back. It will include eating and then likely passing out from exhaustion.
I really should be working, so I'll go now.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
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2:43 p.m.
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 The graduate with a science degree asks 'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks 'How does it do that?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?'
The graduate with the Arts degree asks 'Do you want fries with that?'
So far this has been a terrible week for no concrete reason. Just one of those times when you wake up and feel awful. Mine is directly stress related. My interview for teacher's college is coming up this week (Saturday) and though I've been doing my best to prep, it feels as though all of my efforts will be for nothing. I can't seem to concentrate or retain what it is I'm looking at.
It's a horrible feeling. Catherine assures me I'll do fine (so long as I don't mention the blow-up doll) and I'm sure she's right, but I also have to prepare a five minute talk on a classroom teaching experience that made me realize why I want to be a teacher.
I can talk a lot (practiced last night), but I REALLY want to get this right. It might be my only shot.
That's a lot of pressure.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
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9:19 a.m.
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 Stumbled across this site which is too funny. www.chucknorrisfacts.com
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8. Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Ahh, Chuck... what humour and insight you've brought into my life as of late. Thanks to Walker, Texas Ranger clips shown on Conan, I'll always think of your bizarre show.
"Walker says I have AIDS."
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
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2:10 p.m.
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 There are days and weeks when nothing seems to happen, then all of a sudden you find yourself inspired for not one entry, but two or three. Instead, I'll put them all together. None will be included in order of importance, but of the happenstance of random keystrokes.
The first is my little degu, Truffle. As some of you may know, shortly before Christmas Catherine noticed that one of her eyes had turned blood red, so we quickly took her to the vet. The vet passed us on to an eye specialist who told us Truffle had a detached retina, causing the eye to fill up with blood.
What does this mean? According to the vet, not much. Truffle is already blind thanks to cataracts, though you'd never know it to watch her run around on the floor. She's been known to follow Catherine and I around as we go about our business, and sneak into the bedroom if we open the door.
The vet gave us some drops, told us that Truffle didn't even know her eye was off and felt no pain. Y'okay, I guess.
Well, last Thursday, before we headed out to Jamie and Nicole's (for Nic's surprise birthday party that wasn't much of a surprise when it came to our arrival), Truffle's eye turned red again. Not as red as last time, but enough to be noticable. I tried to get the antibiotic drops, but no luck as the eye guy was closed on Fridays. Not very helpful.
So I went and got them on Monday. I was told that since we weren't scheduling another appointment that would cost us more than $300, that these were the last drops we would be given. I assumed they were free, but got charged $40 for a 5ml bottle. I wanted to ask the vet a question, and was told he'd call me the next day.
He did.
"Is this kind of bleeding going to be normal for a detached retina?" I asked.
"I don't know," he replied.
I waited. Rephrased slightly.
"I'm not sure. You'll probably wind up knowing more about degu retinal detachment than I do," he said.
WTF? He's an EYE SPECIALIST and can't tell me if this is common, in degus or in any other creature! Well worth the initial fees, I'm sure. Good lord.
Event the second: we went to see Jamie and Nicole again, as well as their basset hound, Morgan. Cute dog that Catherine seemed to like a great deal, but then again, she has a soft spot for dogs. It was good to see Jamie and Nic (who is now pregnant and an old, OLD, 28 years). Jer, Paul, Vicky, Catherine and I made the trip down.
It was supposed to be a surprise, but Nic's mom, reaching her secrecy limit, spilled the beans with only a couple hours to spare. D'oh well. Still lots of fun, games, chips, and more. We should do it again soon.
Event the third: I got a letter from York University yesterday. This was to let me know that I'd been selected for an interview to determine if they want me in their teacher's college program. This would be exceptional news if I got in, and is a solid indicator that I'm being considered. I imagine many applicants won't get an offer for an interview at all. So long as I don't mention a blow-up doll, I figure I'm solid. Or at least at this point I know I've got a fighting chance.
And that makes me happy.
PS. Tivo is still my master. Catherine actually said at one point "I don't feel like doing anything this weekend. I just want to spend time with Tivo."
I've been replaced.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
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11:40 a.m.
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 There seems to be a surprising amount of occurences in my life lately revolving around animal love. I have no idea why it keeps popping up, or why I make note of it, but today brought about an excellent example.
Earlier this week, I was watching an old SNL clip involving the guest host at a pirate convention. Peter Saarsgaard (Garden State) was brought in because of the 'aars' in his name, and the pirates kept asking him questions that would lead to similar sounding answers. I forget what the correct answer for the pirates was, but Horatio Sanz asked him for the name of a popular website featuring barnyard animal love.
Saargaard answered "I don't know, animalloveclub.com?" Sanz gives the correct answer, then brings out a notepad and says "Er, what be the name of the other one?"
Then the goat joke came up again. I can't remember the context, but I'm sure it was funny. That joke never gets old.
Today, however, the Metro horoscope section decided to make it personal. Most of my horoscope was fine, but the last line was "Visit with friends and their pets for a fun time after dark."
...
Um, NO.
...
Well, maybe.
Friday, January 20, 2006
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9:59 a.m.
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 Up until recently, the box that alters the way people watch television was restricted to use in the United States only. Tivo is a DVR (digital video recorder) and though it would be easy to pass it off as a new-age VCR, there is so much more to it.
I picked up an 80hr Humax Tivo DVD Recorder through the States (read below to see the complicated process that is worth the effort). In addition to storing up to 80hrs of television programming, I can also burn and play DVDs of my favorite shows and movies. This frees up the hard drive and also makes for a tidy collection. My connection is simple: just a standard cable set up, but the package is so thorough that it contains a huge amount of telephone cord, a coaxial cable, a/v cables, a telephone cable splitter box, and cable to connect a satellite dish or cable box if you have one (I don't). This thing would work off an antenna.
 Tivo also features some of the following: pause and rewind live TV, create a "wishlist" of shows you'd like the Tivo to record and it will do so across channels. If you like the Simpson's, simply ask the Tivo to record any and all instances of the show. There goes that 80hrs quickly. If you want a show that hasn't been on in quite some time, ask Tivo to look for it and even if it's two years later and the show comes on, Tivo will record it.
Forget to program it before you left home? EMAIL the thing, and it will tape your show. It also offers full TV Guide program listings, can be connected to your home computer, play MP3s, display your pictures, and walk your dog. For any channel you're viewing, it stores up to half an hour in its memory so if you walk away and missed a scene, forgetting to pause the Tivo, just rewind. Many people will wait until 20 minutes into an hour long show before they sit down to watch it so they can skip commericals.
As for recording, you can record one channel and watch another, or watch a recorded show while taping another. It's pretty darn convenient. The Tivo remote is fully compatible with everything else nearby, so you can set it up to do everything at once.
Canada has it's own DVRs offered through Shaw and Rogers, but these are typically tied directly in to your cable bills and subscriptions and if you're like me and feel that Rogers controls too much of the free world, it feels nice to have a non-affiliated box to save your favorite programs with. Also, at this stage, Rogers does not have a DVR capable of playing and burning DVDs as well.
 While Tivo recently announced that it now offers Canadian service, that doesn't mean that you should head to Future Shop to try and buy one. The process is still complicated, though Jamie says that an article in the Windsor Star indicates that they will soon be sold here in Canada.
At this point, Tivo is only sold in the United States, and many retailers do not ship across the border. There are a couple, such as Weaknees.com, who will, but for those who have a US connection, this is what you should do:
1. Use MasterCard over Visa if you can. People have had trouble with the latter and I had no issues with MasterCard. Call them and get them to add a US address as a second BILLING address. Make sure you state billing, not shipping. Having someone to send it to is crucial, otherwise a stranger will get your Tivo.
The reason for this is that while Tivo supports Canadian users, their online store is not set up for Canadian credit card addresses. I recommend Tivo.com over US versions of Walmart or Best Buy, because Tivo has the best deals. You get a year-long subscription and $150 off the recorder straight away. If you just want a 40hr Tivo, you can get one with a year subscription for about $50 US.
2. Calling Tivo. It's a waste of time, because their service reps can't use your Canadian card data either. Also, the 1-800 isn't available to call from most areas in the GTA. I could do it at work through our telecom system, or if you really want to call, use a free web service like SKYPE.COM to call for you. Get the billing address changed, then just use that on their website. I had no issues with this, and it took about 5 business days for it to arrive at my shipping address.
3. The set-up: I went through this last night and it's LARGELY a painless process. There are a few hiccups that I didn't see on helpful forums such as TIVOCANADA.COM or http://forums.tivo.com.
When activating your Tivo online, you have to enter your address differently. It says how on the site, so I won't get into it, but your address will partly read LEO, WY, 82327. This is the default for Canada at the present.
 During guided set-up with your Tivo, you'll hit a snag. It asks for your area code, give it and it identifies your city, but it asks for your zip code, and you enter 82327 and it lists Wyoming. When it asks for your local cable provider, it also reads a local Wyoming station which you should select, but it WILL MESS UP your listings.
Here's what you do:
- Go through the guided setup selecting 82327 as the ZIP code
- Enter in your area code, then select the appropriate call in number that isn't long distance for you
- Tivo connects via telephone for a small program update
- Select the default Wyoming cable provider and channels it finds
- The guided setup states it's done and the update will take 4-8 hours to complete. You can watch TV only through the Tivo but don't stress it's not done yet.
- Navigate to http://research.tivo.com/72priority/ then enter your 15 digit Tivo service number. This should tell Tivo to download the latest software to your Tivo asap
- (I have not yet received my update, but the site says it can be up to 3 days)
- Now click your Tivo button, select settings, then "restart your Tivo", and select "restart guided setup".
- When you get to the ZIP code entry screen push the "enter" button on your Tivo remote, enter your postal code on the next screen
- Now select the local cable service provider
- Tivo connects, downloads your local program updates and you're done!
 So, it's a bit of a pain, but I'm guessing it will become much easier once they're available in Canada. If you want one, I suggest you head to tivo.com in the near future and buy it from them. Total cost for me, once I had the recorder and a lifetime service agreement (you don't have to pay anything again, otherwise after the year of service it's about $13 US a month), was a bit over $500 CND. Bye-bye Christmas money.
This thing is heavy as well. About 18 lbs. total. There are a/v inputs on the front and back of the machine, so if you so desire, you can hook up your Nintendo, Xbox, VCR, whatever into it. Handy, huh?
But that's it. A few steps, yes, but nothing too extreme. Hope it helps to any of you reading this who are interested. If you're not and I just did all this for nothing, then I hate you all.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
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10:50 a.m.
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 That's what this blog seems like sometimes. Either I'm posting every day, or there's nearly a week in between posts. I blame it on a lack of an interesting existence. Though I'm acutely aware that I have all of my friends and family out there to service. All of you who don't call.
I don't call either. But I have a reason: I'm lazy.
So, this is an expensive week in the Gerow-Wilkinson household. Despite my pessimistic attitude, it seems that Catherine and I are indeed goin to China this July for a three-week stint, where we will meet up with Catherine's brother, David.
We booked it and everything. Catherine, of course, gets the window seat. Fine my me, as on a 13 hour flight I'm happy to have the aisle to stretch my legs out a little. This means weeks of prep, light packing, needles, passports, and lots of other insane bits. Thankfully David went through all of this last year, so we know what to expect. And we have 6 months to prepare.
Catherine is using up all of her holidays at once for this, but since I only get two weeks vacation... who knows what will happen. I'm hoping to be going to teacher's college in September, so this might be a good time to leave my job. God help me if I don't get in.
Very excited about the trip though. Catherine's even more hyper, as she's hoping to get to hold a panda. She's obsessed, really. She got a panda mousepad (which sucks as a mousepad), so she's using it as a picture on her desk at work. I seriously doubt she has one of me at her job. I have one of her, though, so I'm the more dedicated partner in the relationship.
Other than that, TIVO is supposed to arrive today. In fact, it's en route. I can smell it. Or maybe that's Nathan. Full TIVO review tomorrow!
Friday, January 13, 2006
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10:46 a.m.
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 There is a moment in my life I keep coming back to. The kind that crystalizes in your mind, a feeling, a place, a person that becomes part of the core of who you are. This one involves my grandmother.
Ada Wilkinson, one of the kindest souls I have ever met, eventually had no choice but to live in a retirement ward in a hospital in Scarborough. Going there wasn't fun as the smell of anti-septics, medication, and entrophy was absorbed into everything. Even the white floors glistened with the off-white yellow stain that only sunlight and constant wear can drive into objects.
My father went every weekend to see her. One of my greatest shames is that I didn't go as often as I could have, not because I didn't love my grandmother, but that I couldn't bear the feeling of sadness that came with those trips. You don't make them that often when people are strong and healthy. Only when it's near the end.
One day, my father and I took my grandmother into a hall in the building. It was dark, and only a few lights lit the stage and a grand piano on the floor in front of it. The tables had sheets on them, chairs turned upside down to help the cleaners polish the floors. The balcony was empty.
I asked her if she came here often. "Not often, lovey. They have some people come to play, but not often."
I can play the piano. It's a skill that has fallen off as I haven't done it in any regular amounts for years. At that point, I was still tinkering often enough that I felt okay sitting on the bench, lifting the lid, and brushing off the dusty keys. I'd written a few songs in my spare time. Nothing to make Mozart envious, but nothing to cringe at. I could also play a few contemporary songs. I knew it would make her happy.
The music wasn't any different than any other time I played, but somehow it was stronger and richer than I had ever heard. It filled up the hall and into those dark spaces. My grandmother had her eyes closed and she gently tapped her leg with her hand, keeping time with the music.
As time went on, others came in when they heard the music. There were two people in the balcony, quietly listening. It was my first real audience. I can imagine them walking down the hall and hearing it. Being curious and grateful for the distraction.
When I finally stopped, all too soon now in my mind's eye, there was polite applause. My grandmother smiled and told me she thought it was beautiful.
My grandmother gave me a piano when I was a boy. I learned how to play it, but I never loved it. I didn't understand what a gift it was, what a gift it came to be. She passed away a few years ago. I remember crying when I got the call.
This moment was brought back to my mind by a song driven heavily by a piano. Most songs like it do. The song is 'The Scientist' by Coldplay.
"Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start"
Thursday, January 12, 2006
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3:32 p.m.
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 (LEFT: Variant cover from Spider-Man: The Other, BELOW: Iron Spidey costume sketch). Since it has already been brought to my attention more than once, I figured I'd chime in on Spider-Man's supposedly 'new' costume from Marvel. It's ugly. Yet in some ways, I find it cool.
I can imagine that Toy Biz, the company responsible for making Marvel Legends figures, had a moment of bliss when this image was released because they're brainstorming a way to make yet another useless Spider-Man figure. Apparently, Toy Biz, in order to make their toys as marketable as possible, must include a Spider-Man, Wolverine, or Iron Man in each wave of its figures in order to entice retailers.
That's probably the only way that b-characters are going to make their way through.
At any rate, Spider-Armour guy is going to follow Marvel's 'The Other' crossover which I know absolutely nothing about. What I do know about, however, are trends. This will quickly grow tired and the costume will be dropped, most likely close to the start of the next movie as the iconic version is the one that sells the best.
Designed by Marvel Editor-In-Chief Joe Quesada, this new design has a few tricks up its sleeve.
"The Iron Spider design - as I like to call it - came to me during a Spider-Man story meeting we were having, we were talking and I was involuntarily sketching on a pad. It's inspired by a sketch that Chris Bachalo did that showed a new Spidey costume with [CLASSIFIED]. I thought that was brilliant, especially since it echoed one of Spidey's greatest villains, and I took the idea and imagined it as though seeing it through the eyes of Tony Stark. The sky's the limit with respect to gadgetry when it comes to Tony inspired costumes."
Still, it's an interesting short-term look.
 Marvel on the whole is a strange place these days. For years I wanted to get in there as an intern or editor in the aim of making myself a writer. This has not happened yet, but I'm working on getting more writing credits. The other two aspects, however, just don't hold the same appeal.
I'm finding that to be true for a lot of things lately, such as journalism. Maybe it's just life and experience, but nothing other than teaching seems to be holding my interest lately. Maybe it's working in an office that doesn't value you very much or figuring out that it's not the office that's messed up, but the whole system of working in the first place.
Nothing I can do except keep looking and keep trying. At least I'll have a new Spider-Man figure to tide me over.
PS. The Tivo has dropped in Buffalo. I might get it tomorrow, or early next week. It depends on my co-worker and whether she can come or not.
I'm not very patient.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
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4:51 p.m.
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I didn't expect to be posting today, but some things are so creepy and ridiculous that you can't help but want to showcase it for everyone who may not have been expecting a web treat.
Here it is, direct from that video site (well, not direct, you'll have to cut and paste) and watch this inspirational video full of horrid singing, bizarre lyrics, cringe-worthy photos, and everything else you'll ever need to convince you that you need to avoid Appalachian State University.
HOT HOT HOT?
Not not not.
http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/1445.html
Monday, January 09, 2006
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4:33 p.m.
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 I recently discovered this song by Gorillaz, and I must say it's quite the catchy tune. Normally I don't go in for this sort of thing, but the 'feel good' repetition is just hypnotic.
That's it. That's all of my news. There really isn't much else going on, except that I'm adjusting badly to being back at work. I finally got to a place where I was okay with what I did, but now it just seems more and more pointless. Almost like repeating a grade for the third or fourth time (which I never did, not even once. I's smart).
Jer and I went on a long walk to nowhere on the weekend, then played Rebel Commando for his Xbox. Not a bad game overall, though I still remain a faithful Halo enthusiast. NHL 2004 got Catherine playing and she's expressing a desire for sports games. I'll have to weed that out of her. Or else get more friends.
My Tivo will hopefully arrive later this week. I'm quite jazzed about it, though where I'm going to find time in between season 2 and 3 of Alias, freshly purchased, I have no idea. I've become addicted to television, though oddly enough I don't seem to mind.
A bizarre twist in my Marvel book writing, is that my local comic shop, the Beguiling, has asked if I'll sign the copies that I get in next week. That's cool, but way too odd. It feels like I'm defacing comics, not adding .5 cents to their value.
If it even has any beyond the cool factor for me.
Almost time to go home, go to United Open Karate, feed Truffle, feed myself, and relax with Catherine. Not a bad life, I tell ya.
Friday, January 06, 2006
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1:00 p.m.
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 Just when you think the New Year is going to get off to a slow and uneventful start, things begin to happen. You go back to work, think things are slow, realize there aren't any more holidays until Easter, then you cry, then things start to happen.
The first bit of news is that X-Men: The 198 Files has now been released by Marvel. Written by my co-publisher and friend, Eric J. Moreels, Marc-Oliver Frisch, and myself, Brian Wilkinson.
For those who have known me for years, my ambition has been to get my name in a Marvel book in the credits as writer. For as long as I can remember, this has been my dream. I never thought it would happen, but there it is. I was even asked to sign the copies my comic book store owner got in.
It's just a handbook, nothing major. Not even the proper kind of comic book writing that I wanted to do. Still, it's paid freelance work for a company thousands have dreamed of writing for and failed. That's a big success in my mind.
It's available now and your local comic shop for $5.75 CND.
The other news, and substantially more important in the grand scheme of things, is that Jamie and Nicole are going to become parents. No, not to a new pet as many would immediatley think, but to an actual baby. A human. Good grief, Charlie Brown.
This news blows my mind.
Jamie and Nic told me via messenger yesterday. Apparently, Nicole gave Jamie a present on Christmas Eve that read "From Nicole, Morgan (their dog), and the baby." Jamie, being Jamie, began to look around for what he assumed to be a new puppy. Nicole had to explain it to him. Then, apparently, Jamie didn't speak for several hours.
While not planned, both of them seem to be happy, if not somewhat shocked themselves. I can't think of someone who will be a better mother than Nicole, so she'll more than balance out Jamie whom I expect to be the permissive parent. At least the kid will be rolling in video games, board games, and action figures. My kind of parent.
Congrats to both of you and good luck. We're here for you.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
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7:01 p.m.
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I know, I know... it's been more than a week since I put anything into this blog, but I have a REALLY good reason...
I couldn't be bothered. I'm on vacation and LOVING it.
Yes, it's true, I was away on vacation (and good lord did I need one) and couldn't be bothered to type. Where did I go for my first vacation this year? Well, nowhere. I sat at home with Catherine. Though we did do a lot of shopping.
Christmas went well. After work on the 23rd Catherine and I went to my mother's house where we met up with my brother, Graydon, and his girlfriend Tammy. We opened presents (I got a very nice jacket and sweater), had dinner, and went to bed after Graydon and Tammy went home.
The next day we went back into the city to meet up with Catherine's parents. We had dinner, picked up our mass assortment of presents, grabbed Truffle, and headed to Brantford for Christmas.
This would be the first Christmas in years where I didn't have to run all over the world in one day. We woke up, opened stockings, had breakfast, opened presents, then had dinner. The whole day was over in the blink of an eye, yet somehow it lasted longer than any Christmas has in years.
The next day was the Wilkinson family Christmas, so Catherine and I went to Guelph. There we saw my Dad, Bern, all of her kids, and my best friend, Chris. Even snuck in a phonecall with Jer during all the fun.
After that, a day in Brantford (watched Harry Potter 4 again), then came home with Truffle on Wednesday. From there, returned gifts as needed, shopped around, got a bargain or two, and largely stayed at home and watched season 1 of Alias (a lovely gift from my father).
Gift highlights:
I make this list more for myself to look at in the coming years, but the rest of you can enjoy as well. No, no Xbox 360 on this list as I'm holding out for a Nintendo Revolution and preparing to order a TIVO from the States.
What I gave Catherine:
Wrapped in one giant box thanks to Larrie from work, I got her a purse from Jacob, Sex & The City season 4 (she got season 5 from my father), a pair of slippers, and an FM Transmitter for her iPod that didn't work and had to be replaced. We did this yesterday and I picked up one that was $20 more money, but on sale for less than the price of the original one I bought her. It may have been a mistake, but I was happy to not point it out.
Truffle got her an egg spatula. Catherine was pleased.
My list is more extensive, but this is my blog, not hers.
I got season 1 of Alias (from my dad), a new fan (from my dad), season 1 of the Batman Animated Series, Serenity, a new sweater, body pillow cover, and Colouretto (a game) all from Catherine. I also picked up more sweaters, shirts, a jacket, lots of Kinder Surprises, a UWO game, a couple of books, cash, and lots of memories that I will soon forget.
This was the year of my buying DVD sets for people. I made season 1 of Lost for my father, brother, uncle, and Nathan, then gave Sex & The City to my mother and Catherine (please, no jokes), Dead Like Me to my father, season 3 of Buffy to my brother, and Firefly to my uncle. What can I say? Catherine and I enjoy our TV. Hence the purchase (soon) of a Tivo.
Tivos are amazing. I just wanted to say that.
Other than that, vacation is winding down as is this year. This is it for this year, new posts on the horizon, new adventures, and hopefully lots of positive change. If not, I expect to go postal mid-April.
Watch for it!
Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
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11:22 a.m.
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With the holidays once again upon us, we are bombarded with Christmas specials old and new alike. For no reason other than I want to, I'm going to present you with four of my holiday favorites.
 1. A Christmas Story
Produced in 1983, this low-budget film probably didn't have aspirations of becoming a holiday classic, but the infamous "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!" found its way into our hearts. The movie, based on a book by Jean Shepperd, follows young Ralphie and his endless pursuit for a BB gun that no one seems to think is safe for him to have.
Great moments include sticking your tongue onto a frozen metal pole, the pink rabbit suit, the leg lamp, and the Santa Claus from Hell. As holiday classics go, no film captures Christmas so well as this film. I don't know what it is about it that reminds me of my own family so much, but it's stuck in my hearts. Catherine's family hasn't seen it, so I've bought it to show them what they've been missing.
 2. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Some would say this is the most crucial of all holiday films to watch and aside from A Christmas Story, I'm prone to agree. Chevy Chase's film about a holiday gone wrong when his family all visits for Christmas is hilarious and each year manages to impress and delight.
Randy Quaid stands out in this film as Cousin Eddie, and if you look closely you'll notice Juliette Lewis as Audrey, Doris Roberts (Everybody Loves Raymond) as Chase's mother-in-law, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Seinfeld) as the the stuck-up neighbour.
Gotta love this movie for the huge tree, the house of a million Christmas lights, and the dead cat. Every holiday ends well if there's a dead cat involved.
 3. Scrooged
An update of the Charle's Dickens classic has Bill Murray taking on the role of a man visited by ghosts to show him the error of his ways and teach him the true meaning of Christmas. This film could easily have become heavy-handed, but the entertaining ghosts, including Carol Kane as the Ghost of Christmas Present, kept things light.
Bill Murray was outstanding in this movie, and I remember the first time I saw it I was more than a little scared. It seemed dark at the time, particularly the Ghost of Christmas Future, but now I can't get enough of it. I'm still hooked to Al Green and Annie Lennox's 'Put A Little Love In Your Heart' song from the end of the movie.
Great scenes include Bobcat Goldthwait and his shotgun rampage as well as seeing Murray and Kane beat the snot out of each other.
 4. Elf
A new entry, yet somehow timeless already. Will Ferrel knocks it out of the park in this Jon Favreau (Swingers) film about a grown man living among Santa's elves at the North Pole. Ferrel is appropriately clueless about how the outside world works when he goes off in search of his human father played by James Caan.
I loved that Caan had a very controlled performance while Ferrel was reigned in just short of Jim Carey-type excessiveness. Ferrel was endearing as Buddy and seeing him lean in to Caan and loudly whisper "I like to whisper too!" fills me with the giggles.
Other great moments are fighting with the fake Santa, syrup on everything, and of course Will Ferrel crushing Bob Newhart by sitting on his lap. This movie will make the rounds on television sooner than later, and likely become a holiday classic. Now if we could all just forget that Christmas With The Kranks ever happened...
5. Other notable entries...
Miracle on 34th Street, It's A Wonderful Life, Nightmare Before Christmas, Peanuts Christmas, A Christmas Carol, Home Alone, and too many others to list all make their way into our hearts each year. One of the biggest thrills at Christmas was the number of specials on and I remember watching all of them with my family. One day I'd like to do that with my own kids. For now, though, I get to hog the remote.
Only three days until C-Day...
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
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12:19 p.m.
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Nathan discovered this insane video the other day and has found a way to make sure that everyone else can see it as well. Nate is a great source of information of how to upload pictures, videos, and all the other useless junk we see on the Internet these days.
I'm semi-proud to present it to you.
I give you... Arnold in YOSH!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
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4:16 p.m.
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On the one hand, I feel guilty making fun of a co-worker, especially since she took us out for lunch today, gave us a Christmas card, and a scratch ticket (I won $4).
On the other hand, this is just too damn funny.
I overhead a co-worker pitching our ads to a potential new client, and she said if you don't want our personals ad, we can send you a remnant ad instead.
A remnant ad is nothing more than a small box or even just a line of text that gets put in if there's a bit of space left over after the paid advertising has been put in the paper. It's a nothing ad and just filler.
I told the co-worker not to pitch those to publishers as it sounds like she's asking them to put garbage in their papers. I had to explain, using visual aids, what I meant before she understood.
I said "remnant just means 'left over.'"
She said "Oh well, I didn't know. My Latin's not that good."
Nathan and Sandy nearly had a heart attack from laughing so hard.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
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11:30 p.m.
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• An 87-year-old man dropped dead while waiting in line at a government office in Bogotá, Colombia. He’d been applying “for a certificate to prove he was still alive.”
• In August 2000, a 44-year-old woman named Angel Destiny fled for her life dressed only in pajamas after half of her house in Cardiff, Wales, collapsed into rubble. Destiny, who makes her living as a psychic, told reporters, “I just didn’t see it coming.”
In other news, I'll be beginning a Christmas movie countdown... flicks that I've loved and that I feel you should all love as well. Look for the first installment tomorrow.
I also just finished reading Ultimates 2 #9 and have made a pdf for those who want to read it. The most shocking issue ever and an instant classic. It's just that damn good. A smack in the face if there ever was one. Brilliantly done.
Anyway, Catherine's in bed, I'm tired, and I just finished talking to Pushee whom I haven't spoken to in ages. This seems to becoming too commonplace these days... close friends that I don't see anymore. I think I've forgotten what Aaron looks like. I just have the warm glow of text messages on my cellphone for company.
I can't wait for Christmas vacation to start...
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
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2:33 p.m.
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I'm still not sure where I sit on the topic of the Bryan Singer-less X-Men 3, only that I'm as much curiously hopeful as I am concerned that this film will suck.
The teaser trailer has been released and is available to view through Apple's website, though I am heartily vexed as I can't run the video on my Mac computer here at work. This causes me great anger as Apple, Quicktime, and Macs are all part of the same company, yet Apple, in its money-hoarding wisdom, is forcing complete system upgrades in order to get the latest version of Quicktime, something I'm not yet prepared to do with my work computer.
So, I'll have to wait until tonight. A startling number of characters are slated to appear in this film though, including Multiple Man, Omega Red, Callisto, Juggernaut, Stacy X, Emma Frost, Kitty Pryde, Colossus, Jubilee, M, and quite a few more. I'm very interested to see these new characters alongside the complete cast (except for Alan Cumming's Nightcrawler who won't be in the film).
The most interesting addition is Kelsey Grammar as the Beast. Not sure how I feel about the look, but the casting is pretty dead on. Frasier as a super-hero. Quite the concept.
That's about it. Been busy otherwise. Good weekend, though Truffle has a bad eye and needed to be taken to the vet for an exam. She's fine, but we're out quite a bit of money. The things we do for those we love...
Worth every penny. Catherine was amazing throughout the whole thing. I'm just way too much of a softy.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
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4:33 p.m.
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Just when you get comfortable...
The reign of terror that is work strikes again as a co-worker and friend unjustly gets the axe. TPTB set their sights on Bill who was well-liked, hard working, and funny.
What makes it worse is that another co-worker and Bill's partner was proven to be lazy and does not do any work, making Bill's firing all the more cruel.
That aside, Bill is a really good guy. He never has an unkind word, always has a smile, and is always hungry. I've never seen a man eat so much so often. Hopefully he gets started at a new job he was promised soon so that he can make a ton more money and give the finger to this place from afar.
Just the other day he emailed his potential employer to get an update, but decided (poorly) to disguise his message (also done poorly). Not once, not twice, but at least three or four times over the course of the email, he included the phrase "Happy Holidays." This in an email, instant delivery communication, around mid-November.
Of course, Nathan and I couldn't let that slide. All day, we joked about "Happy November" or "Happy Thursday" and even "Happy 3:30pm." Bill, being as gracious as he is, just laughed and took it in stride.
Bill loves working on houses and was talkinga bout moving to a tropical location with his wife and setting up his own company. Bill fixes things, makes things better, and is a good friend. It's a shame I didn't get to know him better before he left this place.
I'll miss the rides home he gave me so many times, and Sandy as well. Yes, I know he's not dead, just removed from this place, and yes, I'm annoyed because he'll be having a lot more fun than I will.
Monday, November 28, 2005
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9:42 a.m.
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Role Model: Wilfredo T. Laboy, superintendent of the Lawrence, Massachusetts, school system, who put 24 teachers on unpaid leave for failing a basic English proficiency test
Setting an Example: Laboy—who had recently received a 3 percent pay increase that raised his salary to $156,560—flunked that same test. Three times.
So, it's done. Catherine and I took off Friday to hand-deliver my profiles to U of T and York with the hope that I would soon be entering teacher's college. It's by no means guaranteed, but I think I've got a pretty good shot.
God help me if I don't get in.
At U of T, the man behind the counter didn't once break up his phone call to look over at me, silently mouth 'teacher's college?', then mouth another 'good luck' as he took my profile and dropped it into a bin. I'm not sure what I expected to happen, but after hours and months of working on that thing I expected something more involved. Maybe a conversation. A hand shake. A secret decoder ring.
Something.
Oh well. The rest of the day I spent text messaging Aaron, Nathan, and Catherine's parents. All in all, it was a fantastic weekend, got some Christmas shopping done and played Ultimate Spider-Man with Jer.
By the way, never rent a game from Blockbuster again. Normally $8 for a rental (including tax), the batards are now charing $10 including tax to rent a game. I know you can keep it a week, but jeez, guys, that's just stealing.
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